I Can't go on , I'll go on

Sweet Nothing

A/N. This story just kinda came off the top of my head in the middle of the night and i just had to write it. SO spelling and gramar might be terrible FYI. ANyways tell me what you think!

Loud music blared through the speakers as the  smell of burning fire and sweat filled the cold fall air. Bodies were everywhere ,  dancing to the beat of the music, screaming the lyrics at the top of their lungs. I moved along to the beat of the music , letting my body sway back and forth along with the crowd. I felt  Tom take hold of me and place me on Troy's shoulders and we slowly began our way through the crowd and to the front of the stage. The actual front. I held on tightly to Troy as he moved along to the music forgetting that he had a passenger. I watched as Tom walked over to a security guard and whispered something in his ear. The security guard took one look at me and smiled. Tom returned to us and pulled me off Troy and unto the arms of the security guard. I couldn't believe what I was about to do . As i landed on stage I felt as if i was going to explode. People cheered as i got closer to center stage . I looked towards Troy , who smiled at me widely and before I knew it, I had begun running toward the crowd.

 "Can you think of a better way to end the night?" I asked Troy later that night as we sat around the campfire. He shook his head as he placed an arm around me. "I don't think anything can top that." He replied.

Troy had been my boyfriend and best friend for the longest time.

I first met him in first grade.

Our friendship bloomed the moment he handed me a small handmade card on the last day of class. That day we'd spent talking about the year and how great second grade would be. As a last assignment our teacher, Ms.Divine asked us each to write  note to a special someone  about how we love them . I wrote one to each member in the class and placed it in their cubby during lunch. After lunch we rushed back to our cubbies to see who had written us one.  I watched my classmates excited faces read the four or five cards they received. All carefully written in script and colored beautifully. When i finally reached my cubby, it was empty. No one had written me note. no one. I remember heading back to my seat quietly . Avoiding everyone I could. I felt distraught. I had carefully written each one of my classmates a card. Told them how much I'd miss them in my big third grade handwriting. Each letter carefully decorated with butterflies and hearts . And I had received nothing in return.  I almost couldn't stand the pain swelling in my heart as i headed to the back closet to cry for a moment. I stood silently crying into my bright yellow shirt trying to  understand why I hadn't received anything. I thought I was well liked, I thought i had made an impression on my classmates. "Sorry , I didn't have time to put it in your box Charlie." i heard a small voice say beside me. It was Troy . The smallest in the class standing next to me holding a small card in his hand. I wiped my eyes quickly before taking the card. He had carefully drawn a monarch butterfly almost as big as the paper with "You are Amazing" written in big letters. And like that we became inseparable.

"Maybe it's time we call it a day Charlie". said Troy aloud. Everyone else whistled and whooped as we got up and headed for our tent.

We slipped in and quickly  and  removed our shoes before getting comfortable. I watched as Troy slowly began to unbutton his shirt. I couldn't help but stare. i still wasn't used to his beautiful features. He was like a God standing in front of me. Not a flaw in sight.

He flashed a smile at me. He was only in his boxers now. Showing off that amazing , Adonis look .

"You're turn." he said smiling at me. I shook my head ."Turn around..please" i said as i started removing my shirt. He turned around with a sigh . I grabbed one of his shirts from his bag and put it on quickly before taking off my pants.

I was not as confident about my body as he was. Puberty did not do me well. Or at least High School didn't. I wasn't exactly thin but I wasn't exactly big. 

I quickly slipped into a pair of old leggings and got into the sleeping bag with him. He turned around and wrapped an arm around my waist. I could feel him breathing softly in my ear and music still playing. "What are you thinking Charlie?" he asked kissing my forehead.

"I wish tonight wouldn't end.I wish we could stay here ,in this moment , right here for a long time".

He smiled at me and kissed my lips softly. "Well how can we have better moments if this is where we want to stay?" He asked."I mean the best is yet to come ..isn't it?" 

 I rested my head against the window on the drive home. I could feel the sun string as we reached our city limit. At any point the dream in which i had lived for a few moments would be just a memory in my head. We continued driving for a few minuets before coming at a complete stop. My House. It seemed completely peaceful for an afternoon. No one ruining around . No noise or screaming coming from inside. Troy helped me get my things and bring them on the porch.

"Call me when you get home?" I told him smiling at him.

"Yeah " He said kissing me softly. before heading back to his truck.

I opened the door and made my way to the front room. A note waited there for me .

"Uncle Tim needed help in Canada. Be back on Sunday...Love Mom". I read aloud to myself. I made my way up to my room and turned my Ipod on as i got ready for a bath. I striped of my dirty cloths and dropped them into the dirty bin. I soaked in the tub for a few minuets before going back to bed for a nap.

I woke up to the doorbell ringing frantically.

It was Tom. He looked pale as a ghost ."It's Troy". He said

And slowly my world began to collapse.