born to die → jily

Ten (fifth year)

AN: hello, please vote, I don't know how eventful this will be as I make it up as I go along! but I still hope that you enjoy it a lot, and please vote :)

{lily}

To say I was surprised at Sirius' outburst and insult would be an understatement, and I was even more surprised at James reaction. At a few tries, I could of probably predicted that James would fight Sirius. Maybe. But I don't think anyone would be able to predict how angry and serious James was, he basically just cut the friendship between them both.

Obviously I was touched that James would do that for me, but I couldn't help but feel bad that I was the reason that they both disliked each other now. I needed someone to talk to, the girls wouldn't take me seriously, and thy would probably just taunt me at how me and James would be 'perfect for each other'. So the only person who i'd be able to talk to without being questioned or laughed at would be one of my best friends: Remus.

It was quite good that I was close to Remus, as I normally had prefect duties with him, and he was also close to the marauders, so I could ask to talk to him about pretty much anything and it would all be good.

"Lily" Alice said loudly, making my name longer than it normally would be while snapping her fingers in front of my face, making me blink.

"Hm?" I said, still thinking about where Remus would be, he would probably either be in the library or in the gryffindor common room. I hoped that it would be in the library as I wold have no chance of encountering Sirius there, as he ha the IQ of about minus three.

"You zoned out. And it was irritating me" she paused, leaving me a space to roll my eyes. "Did you even listen to a word I just said, then?"

I shook my head no and pulled my legs out from under the table, "um, I'm going to go, and... and study, in the library" I said, walking off before Alice could question me further.

I went up the stone steps, bumping into a certain James Potter, "hey lily," he said, leaking against the side of the steps, blocking my way deliberately.

"Hi, I'm really sorry, but I'm in a bit of a rush, I've got to go and study for a but"

But James saw right through me, "are you going to try and find Remus?" his eyebrows furrowed, looking into my eyes, making it very hard for me to lie.

"Yes. I am" I sighed feeling defeated.

"Why?"

"I just need to chat to him for a bit" about you, I added silently I honestly, I wasn't actually lying. I just wasn't telling him the whole truth.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow, also, do you know what day it s today, lily?" he asked.

"Saturday"

"Okay," he looked like he was about to walk away, finally, but obviously he had something more to say when he looks back eking to me again. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again, and the opened it, making him look like he was a fish out of water. "And lily, you look beautiful today" he smiled and quickly left, leaving me to wonder why I would of said back if he had waited for my reaction.

After about five seconds, I raised my eyebrows, smiling slightly and turned on my heel to get to Remus.

I got into the library, it was pretty much empty as list people didn't go to the library on a weekend, so that made is really easy to find Remus. But then again, even if there were a lot of people at the library, I could of probably still found him easy enough as a tall, skinny but muscular figure with sandy brain hair and various scars wasn't really hard to spot.

"Hi lily" he smiled up at me, but his smile didn't reach his eyes.

It never did.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked, wanting to seem normal, not just jump into a conversation about James.

"Yep... why are you here?" I was going to tell him that I was there to study, but normally, I would get out my things straight away, and be irritated if Remus even muttered a word. Today i hadn't done that.

"I just wanted to talk to you for a while"

"About what?" he set down his quill, passing is full attention to me.

"Just stuff"

"Does that 'stuff' begin with a J?" he asked, smirking slightly and ruffling his slightly already dis-shelved hair slightly.

If he wasn't my best friend, I would be trying to win him over.

"Maybe it does"

"And does that certain thing end in a S?" I nodded, "tell me more"

I didn't really know how to start it, I wanted advise from him about a few things. The first and most important one was to try and find out how to handle James when he didn't have Sirius by his side.

It sounded slightly- very- pathetic, but Sirius defused James and James defused Sirius.

And the second one was to try and see if I should still be friends with Sev. I wouldn't be questioning it I it hadn't been that one day in Hogsmead when Sirius started to degrade my blood status. James- the one who I treated badly, ignored, rejected and shouted at, was the one who stuck up for me, punching Sirius in the face and everything. But Sev- the person I had known since I was eight, the one who I knew well and the one who I trusted didn't do anything to help me. At all.

"I want to know what to do, Remus" I said, fiddling with my Fingers, resting both of my forearms onto the desk, "I want to know what I should do about James and Sirius. James isn't the same without Sirius."

"And Sirius isn't the same without James" he paused, "I have no idea how we are log to do that, because they need to start to eachother aagain exhaust frankly, it's so awkward in our dorm it's slowly killing me"

"Okay, so we just leave ten to it, or..."

"We leave them"

I nodded glad that he said that, "second thing, you know Sev" Remus gave Me a stare that just said 'obviously' "I don't know whether to be mad at him not"

"Why?"

"Well you know at hogsmead, when Sirius insulted me and my family?" he nodded, "Severus said nothing. Nothing at all, not even when he said that stuff about being a muggle born. I realise that Sirius could of said worse things but still..."

"Just give Severus a chance, lily" he said, nodding as he collected his bong and put them in his shabby bag, "and hopefully he'll prove himself again"

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