5 Hokages

Tobi and Detox

Uchiha Madara had been gulping down some sake at a dive in Grass country when he'd heard the rumor. Apparently, according to the waitress' sister's cousin's uncle's best friend's dog (which wasn't as weird as it sounded since the dog in question belonged to the Inuzuka and could speak after a fashion) Konoha's first four Hokages had defeated the Shinigami and been restored to life. Deciding that he must see for himself if this was true as it could derail a large number of his plans, he swiftly settled his tab, barely bothering to go through his Tobi routine as he did so, and got a couple bottles of a local plum wine to go.

Two days later, he found himself in Konoha standing outside the apartment building in which the Kyuubi Jinchuriki and apparently now two of the four Hokages dwelled. Senju Tobirama was there in the flesh hauling what looked like old drywall to a nearby dumpster. As the man threw his heavy looking load in the trash, he happened to look up at just the wrong moment.

"Tobi?" Tobirama said looking somewhat surprised.

Madara wasn't sure what he should do at this point. If he ran, Tobirama would chase him and the rest of Konoha would follow eventually leading to trouble he absolutely didn't need right now when his plans were so close to fruition. Perhaps he should try to convince the Senju that he'd mistaken him for someone else? He couldn't use his normal voice, since Tobirama would recognize that in a heartbeat. Here's to improvising...

"Tobi's name isn't...shit."

That hadn't come out as planned.

"Hey Hash! Come here and look!" Tobirama yelled.

"What?" a very familiar voice called back as Senju Hashirama's head poked out of an upstairs window.

"It's Tobi!" Tobirama called back.

"Who?" Hashirama said.

"God, don't tell me you've forgotten Tobi! Madara used to come up with the wackiest shit when he was drunk!" Tobirama yelled back.

"Hang on a sec." Hashirama called down before hopping out the window, running down the side of the building and joining his brother.

"Well damn...it really is Tobi. He's even wearing one of the stupid masks Izuna got him to complete the routine." Hashirama said when he finally got a look at him.

Tobirama looked up at the sky, and suddenly got an odd look on his face.

"What is it Tobs?" Hashirama asked.

"I just realized that it's ten in the morning." Tobirama said as he pointed at him.

"Well shit." Hashirama said.

"Jeez Madara, when'd you start drinking? It usually took you hours to get this trashed." Tobirama said.

Why did that question leave him feeling oddly disturbed?

"Well, I went on a bender after Hashirama defeated me at what they're now calling the Valley of the End." he replied.

"And?" Tobirama asked.

"And what?" he said, as he tried to remember when that bender had stopped and failed.

"Oh sweet...for the love of...Tobs, you grab his right side, I'll grab his left and we'll drag him to my granddaughter for a couple of Detox Jutsus." Hashirama said.

He ran for it. Honestly he did, but Hashirama and Tobirama had obviously gotten alot faster while they were dead.

THE NEXT MORNING:

Uchiha Madara groaned when he awoke. He had the headache from hell, his stomach felt like it was trying to escape, and his bladder felt like it was at three times normal capacity. He got up to stumble off in search of a bathroom or at the very least a convenient tree or outdoor wall (he'd learned his lesson about indoor walls after the judicious application of a frying pan by his mother) despite the fact that it brought more pain and another escape attempt by his stomach. It was while he'd stumbled into the wall by the door to the room he was in that he happened to look down.

"What the fuck am I wearing?" he asked the world at large as his eyes took in the long cloak with red clouds the gray pants and the white...leg warmers?

Eventually, he found the restroom, and after a "What the fuck happened to my hair?" he did his business. It was while he was washing his hands that something seemed to hit him.

"The moon? Seriously?"