5 Hokages

The Desk (Part 2)

Orochimaru read the report that had been rushed to his base. They wanted to destroy The Desk? But he hadn't finished studying it...

Hopefully the petition that had gone up when a Chunin had dragged The Desk out of the tower and into the courtyard would be successful. If it wasn't, he would have to find a way to save it, as his attempts at recreating that particular piece of furniture had so far been unsuccessful. If even half the legends he'd heard about it were true...

He called for Kabuto.

"Rescue The Desk. If you cannot do so, bring as much of the ashes as you can retrieve for further study. Take as many men as you deem necessary." he ordered.

&!&!&!&

Itachi frowned. According to rumor which traveled faster than light, especially in the Shinobi world, The Desk was being threatened. The sacred relic upon which he and his younger brother along with a sizable portion of the last few generations of the Uchiha clan had been conceived was to be destroyed by the Senju. While he would rescue it out of principle, he himself had personal reasons for wanting to rescue that particular piece of furniture.

"Come Kisame." he said as he got up from their table at the bar. "We must go to Konoha."

"Why?" Kisame asked. He and Itachi didn't eat indoors too often, and he'd been enjoying himself.

"The Desk is in danger, and I must go and protect it." he replied.

"What's so important about "The Desk"?" Kisame asked, having heard several patrons including a couple of Konoha nin sounding distressed while speaking about some desk.

"It is the sacred relic upon which my parents and I were conceived, and upon which I lost my virginity." he replied.

Kisame stopped and stood there looking poleaxed.

"You have had sex?" Kisame said when he finally found his voice. "You have had sex?"

"What's wrong with that?" he asked. Kisame wasn't all that much of a prude, so he didn't understand why his partner was so shocked over the fact that he'd indulged in carnal relations. He'd been a bit young at the time, but then again ninja grew up faster than civilians.

"Nothing." Kisame replied. "Other than the fact that I owe Deidara five-hundred thousand ryo."

&!&!&!&

Senju Hashirama sighed. He didn't know how, he didn't know why, but the desk he'd created for his office back when Konoha was little more than a few hastily built houses and a dream had become some sort of fertility symbol or something. Apparently most of the ninja and a sizable portion of the civilian population were either conceived on the desk or had a relative who had been if the stories he'd heard were to be believed.

How this could be without there being a line about a mile long every day, he didn't know or even want to know. Just the idea of hundreds or even thousands of people doing THAT on his desk made him feel somewhat queasy.

He'd ordered the desk to be burned despite the number of happy memories associated with it, such as the conception of Tsunade's mother. That order had yet to be carried out. Apparently, a small mob rounded on the poor administrative nin who had attempted to carry out his orders.

He'd soundproofed his office several hours ago to tune out the chant of "Save The Desk!".

As he tried to get some paperwork done, one of the few administrative nins who had hung around the office rather than go outside to either join or hold the crowd back arrived with a messenger hawk which had made its way from Iwa.

He pulled the "for his eyes only" message off of the bird and deciphered it. It was a request for a desk just like his. He crumpled it and screamed in frustration.

Screw the desk! He was going to go out there and destroy it himself!