20 (Seventeen Jeonghan x CLC Seunghee)

44 : I'll wait for you.

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Jeonghan was bewildered. Did he hear it right? With wide eyes he heard the rest of her words.

"I've been thinking of what to give you earlier. Something to make you feel that I love you just the same. And for you not to think that I'm taking our relationship for granted. I know you've been holding back for my sake. I know you respect me so much you would never do anything to hurt me. But I love you. Don't you think I'm being unfair to you? I'm the one being selfish all along. I'm still making you suffer after all. And now I want to change that. I'm not ready for this but I'll try my best. I won't be scared anymore. You can do anything you want with me. And I'm doing this because I really, really love you."

She kissed him. She was decided. She held his hand and tugged him to his room. He was silent though. He could not believe she was the one luring him.

They ended up in the room. His fancy was finally becoming real. His desires were finally being realized by the only girl he loves. She was right infront of him, in his room ready to give him her all. He was overwhelmed. Everything seemed to be perfect. It was the day he was dreaming about but something suddenly pierced his heart. When he stared at her, something was just not right. Then he recalled a line she just said, 'I'm not ready for this but I'll try my best.' That one line kept repeating in his mind. Somehow, in his heart, he did not want it to be this way. If she wasn't ready, wasn't it evident that he was forcing her to do this? That thought made him fall back. He looked into her eyes. She was standing nervously infront of him, it was obvious. So without a word, he hugged her tightly. Seunghee was bit surprised about it. Then she heard him sniffling.

"Jeonghan? What... What's the problem?"

"I'm really glad you that would do this for me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I won't let my desires get the better of me anymore. Please... Don't force yourself on doing something like this for me again. I don't want ever want to see you like this again. I love you Seunghee. I'll wait for you, no matter how long it takes. Just don't be like this."

"What are you talking about? I want to do this. You heard me earlier right? It's okay."

He let go and faced her, staring straight into her eyes. She felt intimidated.

"Then why are you trembling right now? Why do you look like you're about to faint?"

"I'm not trembling. I'm excited that's why. This is because of the excitement, can't you see?"

But her shivering wasn't fading. She looked pitiful. And it was him doing this to her. He can hardly forgive himself.

"I'm sorry for being mad earlier. I was just desperate. It's not your fault. It will never be your fault. It was me all along. It was my selfishness that made me this way. It's my obsession with you that I've gone to force you into doing this."

"Jeonghan..."

"I'll wait Seunghee. I will never rush you into these things ever again. Even if that time will never come."

"Jeonghan... Thank you..."

She was crying. She was thankful he understood her. Yes, she was forcing herself. And if anything really happened that day, she didn't know if everything will be the same for them. But she couldn't tell him that. She was just grateful, he was himself. That he was the person she loved and no one else.

"Thank you... Thank you..."

Her tears were overflowing. He tapped her head gently as she buried her eyes on her hands. He was relieved too. If he made the wrong decision, who knows what might happen? He would never risk losing her for anything. Starting that day, he would truly treasure her. She was his life, the star that gave him light.

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To be continued...