We all love our skyrim guards and their dumbass comments, now lets talk about the funniest things we've seen then do in Skyrim!!!
"I used to be an adventurer like you, until I took an arrow in the knee." Skyrim guard, why you no get better knee armour!?! Everytime I here one of the guards say this, I fucking loose it and scream at the screen, "then get some fucking knee pads bitch!"
"Let me guess, someone stole your sweetroll?" I'm pretty sure this was meant to be a dirty joke, then again, sweetrolls are pretty good, I've made them myself, so maybe the thieves go for the sweets in this time. Probably not.
Once while fighting the dragon at the watch tower with a bunch of guards from Whiterun, I heard a guard say to his friend next to him, "we're so gonna die". I officially lost my shit then and had to pause the game I was laughing so hard.
"Maybe I'm the dragonborn and I just don't know it yet," your fucking talking to the dragonborn you dumbass! I didn't climb a damn mountain and get shouted at by a bunch of old men and fight a big ass black dragon for you to think your a dragon slayer! You fucking run everytime a dragon flies by!
"Maybe you could enchant my sword for me, that old blade couldn't cut butter." I'm sure this was meant as a dirty joke. Why creepy guards, why!
"Is that fur? Coming out of your ears?!?" Naw, it's your moms chest hair.
______________________________________
Always make sure to really look at cover pics, sometimes they get cut off and you have to click on them. And I always pack a funny meme for a pic.
YOU ARE READING
Tell Me Your Secrets Skyrim!!!
AcakThis is the place we all come to discuss the random shit in Skyrim that leaves us either worried about our fragile grips on sanity or laughing our asses off. Feel free to comment your stories. Judge as you wish.
