Not So Prince Charming

'It's not you, it's me'

A/N: Have an unnecessary but well-deserved present. I dunno, man. I feel bad for not having celebrated the 1,000,000 mark with an added chapter yet, and who knows when I'll update again so here u go, u deserve it!

Well, that went as well as it could have, Dan thinks, sighing as he takes another swig from his bottle of beer. He's up on the rooftop of the fancy hotel that they're staying in, watching the city thrive down below. There's something about London at night: the buzz, the beauty, the way the lights speckle amidst the darkness that excites Dan. It's weird, and he knows it, but he's beyond right about now.

Too bad watching it from all the way up here is the closest he'll ever get to experiencing it.

Just once, he decides to himself, just once would be nice.

If he – at any point, by any person – was given the chance to actually live (and by live, he means literally anything that doesn't involve bodyguards trained exclusively in Istanbul hovering over him all the time) then he would take it. No persuasion needed. He'd be out of that door before anyone could so much as object. His parents would be mad, of course, and Esther would probably tsk impatiently at his recklessness. Then there would be the mass national search for Perigna's missing heir ignited by his disappearance, disturbing everybody's peace. Too much fuss to justify one night out drinking.

And while it's not as though he's actually being deprived from going out and mingling, it's just not the same. He can go out, he has gone out before, but only with people chosen for carefully by the family's chief advisor, and only if he's accompanied by his several bodyguards, and only for a few hours at a time. Not to mention the constant stream of paparazzi following him, yelling obscene insults in order to make him react. No, it's not even close to being the same.

Dan takes another swig, staring distastefully at the near empty bottle – some cheap brand, he quickly deduces. Evidently, the quickest thing Gerald could get his hands on, then.

He was in sore need of it after today's events. First his father's talk – which was as horrifically tedious and unsatisfying as he had initially expected – followed promptly by an equally boring chat with Esther, who had given Dan both advice on his attitude and a run through of tomorrow's schedule.

Just thinking about is enough to make him want to scream.

"You know what?" Despite no one being around (for once), he keeps his voice low, just in case. "I – I don't even care anymore. Screw this, I'm out." Aware of how this sounds, especially when staggering about drunkenly on a rooftop, he hastily adds, "just this prince thing, mind," even though nobody's here in need of reassuring.

"In fact," Dan continues, this time louder, "I'm just going to go. All right? I'm just going to – to go and," he breaks off, the drink having gone to head quicker than he initially expected, "and – no, I'll be damned if I spend one night here - in London, of all places – without looking about it. Who's acting with 'care and consideration' now, eh?"

He reasons that one night will be enough as he makes his hasty departure down the fire escape, all the while humming 'Rule Britannia'. No one bothers checking in on him until morning, anyway, so as long as he get the timing right – which he's adamant on doing – then he'll totally get away with this, right? Right?