Time changing?

Saturday 1am-5am

Loud music is blaring through the whole room. I feel warm bodies up against me from every side of me. The air reeks of achohoal. This is what a party is. I've been here for a little bit but not long. It was a long ride. Now I just want to forget everything.

"Hey Lily! Drinks on me!!" Some random drunk guy shouts to me. He hands me beer and I chug it. I need to feel numb. To forget everything. And for the moment this is all I got.

"Whoa! You're really thirsty!" The drunk guy claims slurring his words as he sways from side to side.

I just smile and dance away. Someone comes up behind me puts their hand on my hips. I get closer and start to dance. I glance over to the door and see Chad walking in with his buddies. Our eyes make contact and I look away quickly.

I realize that I can still see him clearly. Which only means one thing. I'm not drunk yet. Sighing I walk over to get some drinks. A fake smile plastered on my face the whole time, as I hope no one will know how hurt and broken I actually am.

My hand reaches for another beer when someone else's hand grabs mine. I look up into Eric's eyes and he smiles. I smile back. He slowly guides my hand away from the beer and to a shot.

He whispers in my ear "You'll get drunk easier, it'll help numb the pain"

I give him grateful eyes and take 3 shots one after the other. That'll do. It doesn't take much to get me wasted. Something I know too well from my first party freshman year.

After that I turn on my heel and come face to face with Chad.

"Lily, please listen to me. I can't just let you go alright? It was a mistake!" He pleads with me

For some reason I giggle "Silly Chad! You don't have a chance with me anymore" I continue laughing as I stumble away.

I want to dance right now. Oh look, Eric's available. I go over to him and I start grinding against him. We stay like this for almost an hour. Well, I think its an hour. Oh well! Who cares!

I need more to drink. I stumble over to the counter. I grab another shot. When that's gone I try to go find Eric but I just fall on my face.

Ow that's hurts. I feel arms pulling me up and carrying me away.

I just shut my eyes a sing "Weeeeee! This is funnnnn"

When I open my eyes again I'm sitting on a bed. I look over and find Eric sitting besides me.

"Eric!" I exclaim rapping my arms around his neck

"Lily!" He sounds just as excites as me. Yayy

Then I realize where I am and why I'm here. Chad is gone. I want to cry. Why do I want to cry? I shouldn't cry.

Instead of crying I decide to do something else. I grab chad and begin to kiss him. We make out. Its not enough. I need more. I need to be done with Chad. I grab his shirt and begin to pull it up, but he stops me.

He pulls away and explains "Listen Lily, as much as I would really love to sleep with you, I can't. Not when you're drunk and not over Chad. I just thought you needed a rebound guy. Someone Chad could see you with. This just feels wrong. But when you're over Chad and you want an actual relationship then we'll talk." He puts this to me gently. As if he's trying not to hurt my feelings. Too late.

My eyes tear up as I try to get up quick but stumble. Eric grabs my arm and stables me. "Am I not good enough! I mean my own boyfriend though that! And now you!"

Even though I feel dizzy I run away going faster. Pushing through the crowd. Feeling the hot tears run down my cheeks. I finally get outside and I keep running. I run and run until I don't know where I am. I am lost.
**

I wake up and see the stars. They're pretty. I reach my hands up thinking I can touch them and being sadly, disappointed.

The more I look at the stars the more I wonder. Why are stars there? I mean they're wanted for their looks. That's it. They're beautiful and that's all people care about. They get attention. They are wanted.

I'm not a star. I'm not wanted. Chad doesn't want me. Eric doesn't want me. My own best friend doesn't even want me. I'm all alone in this great big world.
**

I wake up once again, but this time some is shaking me. I look up to see Eric hovering over me.

My head is pounding. It hurts so much.

"Lily, don't ever scare me like that again." He pulls me up and once again picks me up. Except this time he carries me to his car and sets me down on the seat.

Almost immediately I jump out puke. Eric holds my hair back while I realize the consequences of my actions. Finally, I am done and I sit back in his car.

Eric gets in but doesn't start the car. I look at him curiously waiting.

He bangs his head on the steering wheel a few times before I stop him.

"What's wrong?" I gently ask

"What's wrong! What's fucking wrong! Lily! You disappeared! You can't fucking do that! I have been looking everywhere for you! Everyone has!" He's crying and screaming at the same time

I look down shamefully. "Eric I'm sorry"

He just grunts and starts up the car driving away. He flips on the radio but turns it down very soflty.

I take this as an opportunity "Eric?"

"Hmm?" He continues looking at the road

"Did people really look for me?" I sound like a scared child waiting for an answer to a question like "did daddy really leave?"

"Lily, they really did. Chad went ballistic. Lucy got so scared she had a panic attack. And I just ran out searching." He sounds very certain

I take all of this in. OK so maybe I'm not all alone. People still love me.

"Eric?" I say once again

"Yes?" He sounds tired

"Thank you"

He just smiles and keeps driving.
**

I'm floating as Eric carries me up to my from.

I look up into his eyes and smile. He is such a good friend. He sets me down gently onto my bed.

Then he runs out of my room and back quickly. When he returns he is carrying a cup of water and two aspirins. He hands me one and the water. I drink and swallow.

Then he sets down the glass and pill. He begins to walk out of my room.

"Wait Eric!" I whisper yell

He turns around.

"Goodnight"

He smiles and walks over to my bed. He leans down and kisses my for head.

"Goodnight"

And with that he walks away.