Touch: Awakening

Part Thirteen

Bee's lip is a little better today. Chapped as all get out, but at least it's not bleeding anymore. Her curls are wilder than usual, and there are dark circles around her eyes. "You look like crap," I say, leaning in toward my monitor.

"Because you look so much better," she retorts.

She has a point. Going through withdrawal has left my skin white as a ghost's. The bone-shattering weakness is mostly gone, nausea a mere rumble in my belly. I didn't venture out of my cell yesterday, though, and I doubt I will today. "Insomnia's a bitch." I smother a yawn with my hand. "What's up, though? Everything okay?"

Tears well in her eyes and she sniffles. "No. I got my notice. They're going to try in a month."

"Oh, fuck, Bee. That's horrible." Anger races through my blood. Anger that we're subjected to this. Anger that I can't be there for her, that I can't give her a hug, an actual hug she could feel. Not this fake shit we've been taught is touch. "I'm so sorry." Guilt slips through the fury as I remember George's latest update. The application had made it through the first round of vetting, and our local Representative had set up an appointment with him to go over a few questions she has.

Approval might not be just around the corner, but it feels pretty damn close.

On my screen, Bee wipes her eyes and sniffs wetly. "I'll deal with it, I guess. I mean, everyone else has to. And Shannon says it hasn't been so bad, not a lot of discomfort."

"How's she doing? Has she had the extraction yet?" I hadn't tried to get ahold of her after she left a message.

"She's probably fine. No one's heard from her in the last couple of days. She'll probably show up sometime next week." The isolation generally continued for several days after the extraction, likely to recalibrate the nervous system. "Are you coming to yoga tomorrow?"

I rub my nose. If yoga was tomorrow, that meant today was Saturday. My body might be able to handle yoga. "I dunno. Maybe? Last night was the first night I got any real sleep, and I still feel pretty shitty." Her face falls, and I stifle a grimace. "You want to see a movie tonight?" I should probably put in a public appearance somewhere anyway. Might as well do it with a friend.

She shakes her head. "There's nothing playing I want to see, and honestly, I don't feel up to going out." Her smile is a little wobbly. "Crying most of the day is kinda exhausting."

"Oh, Bee. Girl, you know it won't be that bad." Yes it will. It absolutely will.

Her smile is stronger this time. "I'm being melodramatic. Everything will be fine eventually." She sighs. "I'm going to take a nap or something. Come to yoga tomorrow, okay?" She signs off, and I sit at the station, staring at the monitor. God, I hope she's strong enough for this. Parker wasn't, and I always thought she was the strongest of any of us, after Brigit.

The smart thing to do now would be to finish grading exams and get them turned in. I don't know if I want to be alone this evening. My twitchy fingers bring up the directory, and I scroll through it. Aside from the messages I need to return and emails to respond to, there's a few others I should contact. People who'd noticed I'd disappeared. Like it's possible to disappear in the Realms.

There's only one I want to get in touch with. I asked him to give me some time to recover. It's been a day. I feel better. Ish. I could ping him.

My finger finds his comm number and pings him before I can stop it. He doesn't answer, and my hope bubble deflates. I don't bother leaving a message.

The cell walls have darkened to the cool purple-blue of twilight, stars winking on overhead. If I were outside, not confined by walls and a ceiling and a floor, would the sky look the same? Would it be warm, or cold, or could I see the stars at all? It could be overcast. Or raining. I think I'd like the rain. All that cool, gloomy wet, turning everything silvery and smudgy.