Destiny (A Ben Barlow Fanfiction)

Chapter 1- Destiny

Destiny

Chapter one

I believe there is a destiny for everyone. I believe there is someone out there for everyone. We spend our lives looking for both, but at night, when everyone sleeps, my mind wanders and I ask myself, do these things exist? Or are we spending too much time looking when we should be waiting.

Ironically enough, my name is Destiny. Before going any further with this whole theory on life and why we are even here, i figured i'd explain a little bit about myself...

Hi, Im Destiny McDougall. I'm 18 years old. I have long brown hair thats naturally wavy, but not the wavy every girl wishes they had, the frizzy wavy that only brings you to the conclusion of hot hair tools. I have freckles lining my face in every knook and cranny and i have hazel eyes, always covered with dark black eyeliner. I have a septum piercing along with gauged ears to 3/4 of an inch. Im a whopping 5'1 and im a curvy girl, not over weight but not under weight. I'm normally sporting sweat pants and a band shirt, considering im not a fan of the whole dresses and girly flowery clothes...

As for my family, its not what you could call a happy life. My mom, Chastity, passed when i was 4 years old to leukemia. She used to tell me i was her Christmas miracle since i was born on December 22nd. I don't know much about her, other than what my father has told me and the pictures i have of her. She was diagnosed when i was 2 1/2 and it was hard on us. We didn't have the money to pay for her chemo treatments and raise me at the same time. I used to think it was my fault she died. As for my dad, hes an okay guy. I currently live with him and my step mom Kim, along with her son, Stephan. My dad got remarried when i was 13. I never agreed to it because i just thought of what my mother would say. Kim's a nice lady and all, but i just dont think my mother would have wanted me and my dads lives to turn out like this. As for her son Stephan, he's 20 and still lives here. He's a partier and a drinker and decided to take a few years off of school after he graduated but to be honest, i dont think he's ever going back. I don't talk to him much because all he does is complain i never leave my room and i play my music too loud.

We all live in this huge house that belongs to Kim, right on the lake, along with my cat Oliver, my gift for my 16th birthday. I was lucky enough to be given a nice room and my own bathroom, window seat, and walk-in closet. As for my decorating choices, i have my queen sized mattress in the corner of my room, bedframeless. I've always wanted my bed to be on the ground, it just makes me feel more at ease than being so high up while im sleeping. My walls are covered in band flags and posters along with a few guitars hanging up that i rarely play anymore. I have a desk on the far wall, along with a few bean bag chairs and my rows and rows of books. I'm a book nerd, ill admit it. Other than that, i have a dresser near my door and a few picture frames containing pictures of me and my mom, and a couple cacti and bamboo plants. I don't like the idea of having a lot of furniture or decorative items because i find it just makes my OCD act up. As for the rest of the house, the main floor has a crazy big kitchen and pantry, a nice dinning room and a massive living area with a tv and a fireplace. My dads and Kim's room is also on the main floor. The upstairs is where Stephan and I's rooms are, along with 2 spare bedrooms we normally will use for when Stephan has all his friends over. We also have a finished basement where we have a home gym and the "man cave". But, out of all the places in the house, i like to just lay in bed with Oli and scroll through tumblr and listen to some good music.

As far as school goes, im the little book nerd who always wears too much eyeliner and never speaks unless spoken to. This semester I have a first period spare, in which i sleep through like any teenager would, then i have english, then its lunch block, and normally ill go home and eat, third period i have my auto mechanic class and last period i have computer technology. None of the classes are horrible, but as for the people, i could say otherwise. I never really got along with girls in the past. I've been in a handful of girl fights, all leading to suspension. As for guys, every single one of them are looking for any girl with big boobs and a cakeful of makeup to go down on them. I've just decided to focus on getting out of the school and moving as far away as possible. I'll admit i get picked on quite a bit, but nothing that i let get to my head anymore.

My mental health isnt well, but its much better than it has been in the past. I have minor OCD, anxiety, depression, and i have insomnia. I've had 4 suicide attempts in the past along with scars all over my thighs and a few on my wrist. I used to have anorexia, then i was hospitalized and put in a mental ward for almost a year. To this day i take pills that make me hungry, antidepressants and whatever else my psychologist throws at me. I won't give an explanation of all the negative things about my past, but at some point im sure they will be brought up to you.

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8:01am

"I HAVE MORE SECRETS THAN YOU'LL EVER KNOW-" i quickly hit the snooze button as my all too familiar alarm shoots through my empty room. Something about a good State Champs song to wake you up in the morning makes me want to either start moshing around my room or put a bullet in my head. I put my feet on the all too familiar cold hardwood flooring and made my way over to my shower. I quickly removed my pajamas consisting of an oversized tshirt and some girl boxers, and hopped into the warm shower. I quickly washed my body and got out, not bothering washing my hair as i did the night before. I wrapped my towel around my body and examined myself in my floor length mirror. My skin was as pale as it always was and my eyes where puffy from the nightmares i had awoken from a few hours earlier. I sat at my vanity and started to apply my makeup, putting on some music. Once i was satisfied with my makeup, i took my hair out of its bun and decided to just straighten it. I then moved into my closet to decide on what to wear. I settled on wearing some black leggings, a "The Story So Far" tye dye shirt and my high top black and white vans. I quickly brushed my teeth and grabbed my backpack, laptop, phone and car keys and started making my way down the stairs. To my surprise, nobody was awake. I quickly took my medication from my jar with some water, grabbed a water bottle and an apple, then made my way into the driveway. Kim bought me my dream car for my 18th birthday, a 2015 matte black Jeep Wrangler. I treat this thing as my child.

I unlocked the doors and quickly hopped in, throwing my bag in the passengers seat. As i started the car, i hooked my phone into my AUX chord. Once settled on what song to play, i rolled the windows down and pulled out of the driveway. The high school is about a 5 minute drive from my house. Its already 9:30 and class starts at 9:40. I drove down the familiar roads admiring the trees changing colors as my favorite season was approaching, fall. I drummed away to a Title Fight song on my steering wheel as i pulled up to my definition of hell. I parked my car in the far back corner of the parking lot, my usual spot since i liked the idea of only having to worry about one car beside me. I grabbed my bag and walked through the parking lot to the side doors of the school.

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