The Stories of Avalyn Hawke and Fenris

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

Ava was worried about him. After Varania had left, he had seemed so lost. He had dealt with the bartender about the mess Danarius had caused.

So she had left the others in the Hanged Man and had made her way back up to High town. Had Varania lied about him fighting for it? Ava had a feeling she hadn't been. It just seemed like something he would do.

Even with what had happened between them, Fenris had, almost from the beginning, been very protective of her. He was the only one who had touched her after her mother had died. He had all but dragged her away back to her estate. Fenris had even come back later to try and comfort her. Now she would do the same for him.

Maker, she still wish he would talk about that night. She understood some of why he had left, but the memories couldn't have been the only reason. He had been scared. She had seen it. Of course, she had seen it. Of course, she had seen scared before, but that was the only time he had ran instead of fight.

Exhaling loudly, she rounded corner in front of the Chantry that lead to the stairway that lead up to Fenris's Mansion. She wasn't even sure how he was going to react to her arriving, but she was willing to take the chance.

Ava took a quick glance around as she neared the door. Inside, she could hear him breaking who knew what. Every time she entered she was surprised that there was still furniture inside. What was he always breaking?

Taking a deep breath, she opened the door and hurried inside. Quickly she shut the door and made her way up the stairs.

Crashing and cursing came from the one room Fenris actually lived in. The door stood opened. Ava walked up to the doorway and watched as he paced back and forth in front of the hearth. He was cursing in Tevene and hadn't noticed her, just yet.

"Fenris."

He turned quickly to face her with a sneer on his face that quickly disappeared. Frowning, he turned from her, "go away Hawke."

Ava slowly walked into the room, "Fenris, talk to me. Do you hate me for saying don't kill her?"

He quickly turned to face with hurt in his eyes, "Fasta vass , no. I could never hate." Fenris looked away for a moment before looking at her again. "I hate so many things, but never you."

Slowly she walked towards him, "I'm sorry that it didn't go as planned."

He nodded, but remained in place.

Ava stopped about two feet away from him, Fenris, what's wrong?"

"I'm finally free, and it feels nothing like I though it would."

"You were already free, Fenris. Danarius stopped being your master the day you ran for freedom. Today was nothing more than revenge. Even if I agree with it."

XOXOXOXOXOX

Fenris stood in shock for a few moments. She was right. He had been free since the day he had fled from Danarius and what he had done. Over the years he had allowed the fear and hatred to become his master.

Taking a shaking breath, he looked at her, "what do I do now? I am alone."

She shook her head, "I'm still here, Fenris."

Had she forgiven him for doing the stupidest thing he could remember ever doing? If he could go back, he wouldn't had run away in fear. Slowly he moved towards the bench before the fire.

After sitting down, he looked up at her, "Hawke."

She shook her head, "I know why you left. You were scared of what the memories could mean. I figured that out about an hour later." Pausing for a moment, she continued, "I wasn't happy, but I knew that you needed time."

Fenris hung his head. He had never thought that she had been waiting for him to do something. He could hear her footsteps as she came closer. Fear had truly become his master. Slowly, he raised his head to look up at her.

The firelight played with her face and hair. She was worried. Maker, he hated making her worry about him. There was so much resting on her shoulders. The City just wouldn't leave her alone. Meredith had her chasing after escaped images, and Orsino had her doing much the same. Everyone asked too much of her, even himself.

"Fenris."

Fenris frowned at her, "I'm so sorry for putting you through all of this."

"Fenris, this was nothing. Well yes there was the fight, but it wasn't that bad. I helped you because I want you to be happy. Even you deserve to be happy, Fenris."

"Finding my family, finding Varania wasn't to make me happy. I want to know some of my past, true, but that's not the most important thing to me." Fenris stood up and walked towards her a bit. He took a deep breath, "Ava, being with you is the only thing that makes me happy."

"You haven't called me that since..."

"That night I know. I still called you that in my head."

She tilted her head slightly and smiled at him, "it's my name, Fenris."

He nodded, "but not everyone calls you by it."

"True."

Fenris smiled slightly as he reached for Ava's hands, "I have very little hope, but can you ever forgive me for..?"

She pulled on his hand, causing him to take a step closer to her, "I forgave you along time ago. Now why don't we do something else besides one of your reading lessons."