Heaven

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You are the best thing I've ever known
You're also the worst thing I've ever known.

You made me feel as though God took your chromosomes  and put every one of my blessings into your embodiment.

As though you're my personalized heaven specifically for me and no one else.

You made me feel invincible. Like I could wrestle a thousand Goliath's and drown the demons that he'd had.
You were my remedy, my protection from myself.
You were my life sized covenant that I will protect this angel with everything that I have
You were my personal heaven.

You were also my personal hell.
You made me feel as though I could do 7•7•7 Hail Mary's and I'd never be clean.
You made me feel as though no matter how strong I was I could only hold up the pillars of our house for a short while.

I thank God for you; for he gave me heaven in you.
But I cannot damn you the way you damned me.
I love you too much.
So here I am suspended
In this constant state of confusion
This plane of nothingness and substance
Purgatory isn't too bad, is it?

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