A Relationship To Remember

If Only I Could Tell Her...

This morning seemed like a great morning. It generally wasn't, but I was in such a good mood I didn't care what happened. I also didn't notice the big smile on my face as well.

While riding the bus one of my friends Autumn asked me why I was smiling so big. I didn't really wanna tell her why, but I did anyways. "I think I finally have the courage to ask Avery out today" I told her. She smiled and shook her head, "I hope you do buddy," she replied, "I hope you do."

That is one of my biggest problems is courage. I live basically around girls all my life and yet as soon as I have feelings. BAM! It becomes super difficult to talk to her, but wait! This is a story. Let's get back on track!

I would usually see Avery every morning and I could never help stare at her sometimes. She is always so beautiful and has such an amazing smile. And I would even say she has one of the best personalities ever. I always call her a meany when she would pick on me and stuff but I never meant it and she never minded. I thought I would ask then and there, but....
I couldn't...
I couldn't bring out the words..

So the few next class periods went by till we had class together. I walked into the classroom and didn't see her and the bell was about to ring. It made me sick to the stomach not asking. "Damnit" I cursed under my breath.

"Damnit what?" Avery asked from behind me. "Oh! You are here" I said with a dumb smile on my face almost stuttering. "So what was the damnit about?" She asked again. "Oh it was nothing Avery, uh, just didn't see you here and thought I'd be working on a project alone." I said in return "Yeah, uh huh whatever. You are always weird" she said messing with me. "Hey Avery can I ask you something?" I asked. "Sure ask away" she said smiling at me.

I stumbled so badly over my words, "I, um, crap I forgot.. Sorry.. Oh wait yeah uh, can I borrow a pencil?" I hated myself so much for that. So much! I wanted to ask her out so badly! And I kept screwing it up. "Is that all?" She asked confused. "Y-yeah I think so." I told her as I turned around.

The next few class periods went by till the end of the day and I got to see her one last time before going home. "Hey Avery!" I yelled through the crowded hallway. "Hey!" She yelled back. We finally reached eachother and embraced in a hug. It was a nice hug, I didn't want it to end. (This is my last chance or i'm never going to ask her out!) I thought to myself. "Hey I have a question." "And I have an answer." She replied back. "So, um," (and so I lost the words once again), "did you finish the English work today?" "Of course I did Jeremy!" She exclaimed.

Then we departed to our homes. I hated myself, I hated my fears, and my worthlessness. I just wanted to let her know how I felt. I couldn't do it. And I hated every moment I let my fears take me.
If only...
I could tell her...