Love of a madman

Nightmares

There are times when you don't feel anything like your self, your body is moving and doing things  but you are not in control, its like human auto pilot, a good example is when you walk down hallways you don't really think about where your going your body just goes, but these weeks with Victoria I wasn't me, the person I became was born and died in that short time. Victoria drug me around own with her arms around my waist presenting me like a prize she had won, but it was only during the day that she forced me to act like her boyfriend, all the holding hands and forced kisses but things always turned bad at night. Victoria had always been a sweet girl to me, not always kind but never hurtful, but at night her demons came out and attacked me, there where times she would beat me, there where times she would force me to do things degrading, then there where times I was forced to be her...pet. On the last day of my torture I though it would be the worst that her last final savage act would be done but in the end all she made me do was stay in the room with her, we played games and talked, I even laughed and had a little fun, then when it was time to sleep she made me hold her while we laid there "Jay what happened to us" with the anger and subtle contempt I had for her I sharply said "you did, you put everyone before me, you used me and lied to me, the only time you would speak to me was if you needed something, you broke my heart" Victoria started crying sniffling out "I know its all my fault...I don't know why I did it I...I still love you so much" I tensed up my anger growing, her words making a pit of fire open in my chest, Victoria must have felt me tense up asking "did I say something wrong?" I sighed "its just I would have killed to spend this time with you before, hearing those words and knowing you meant them would have saved my broken heart, I would have given anything to see you smile because of me again, so of course you wait to say and do it until after I finally got over you and learned to be happy again" I paused trying not to be so angry but failed "its not fair that you only love me when you cant have me" Victoria burst into tears and I did nothing to help her, it was bad but I wanted her to cry and feel heart broken just like I did, she could have my pity once she had cried for months over me. it was finally over just a sort plane ride and I was a free man again, next to me Victoria sat faking a smile and trying to pretend its all right but I knew better but I didn't care, Victoria's mom picked us up at the air port, Victoria smiled big telling her about the trip and how much fun she had I of course kept my mouth shut knowing that no one wanted  to hear my side of the story. Victoria's  mom dropped my off at my drive way, my mood instantly going from anger to pure joy, i was free and there on my porch sat Miz, she caught sight running out and tackle hugging me, I feel to the ground laughing "I missed you so much Miz" Miz kissed me deeply. Miz broke the kiss holding me tight "that is never happening again I wont ever let you go" and she didn't for the whole rest of the day, no matter what we did Miz some how always had at least one hand on me and when we finally went to sleep that night she was wrapped tightly around me. Miz had insisted we have sex all night after I told her everything that had happened, I know its weird but I never lie to those I love. The next day at school I was very off, Miz had taken my hoodie, sure I thought it was cute as hell when she first put it on and it dwarfed her, but now I had to go all day without my armor, I ware my hoodie all day everyday and if I don't I feel so naked. Victoria was making it worse, she kept poking me and leaning up against me, Miz wareing my hoodie made Victoria mad, before now I hadn't let anyone one but Victoria ware my hoodie, so now she was tormenting me as much as she could. Victoria changed after break she seemed nicer, besides the death stares she gave Miz she was of course still angry. Now I always feel weird around her she always wants to be all over me hugging me, the other day she even wrote "Jay's" in sharpie on her arm, she always gives me little notes and texts me almost every hour it seems. Miz gets so angry about it and I can't blame her if it was the other way around I would be pissed to I just hope things don't blow up again.