Crave- Niam BDSM

Chapter 28

Liam runs a hand through his hair as he sits at the end of Niall's bed watching the young boy sleep.

he took a moment to take in the beauty of the blonde; the way his brown roots were beginning to grow out into the blonde head of hair. the way his fringe brushed over his eyes the slightest bit.

the way his eyes moved from underneath his eyelids from time to time. the way his long, sand colored eyelashes brushed over his cheek bones. the way his cheeks had that natural pink that always seemed to tint the pale skin.

the way his chin dipped in the center when you saw it from certain angles. the way small freckles seemed to litter his face, down to his neck and bare shoulders. the way his collarbones stood out so much in a beautiful way. the way his chest moved up and down with each breath he took.

the way he curled into a ball, only his toes sticking out to touch Liam's. the way his calloused yet insanely soft hands gripped the covers tightly in his slumber.

He looked so peaceful. It was a mystery to him as to why Niall wanted to be with him after all he'd put him through.

Tearing his gaze away from the blonde, he puts his head in his hands, "fuck, fuck" he mutters under his breath. He needed to leave, he couldn't stay any longer another wise he would find himself going a little more insane.

Everything that happened last night began to flood back to him, He confessed to Niall. Told Niall he needed him and showed him how he makes him feel, it was too much, He let Niall know a little part of me that was supposed to be locked Away. He couldn't let that happen again. He needed to leave.

He stands up from the bed and being as quietly as possible. He got dressed quickly and made to leave at once, but he hesitated in the doorway, taking one last glance at Niall. He spared a moment to consider leaving a note or maybe staying but decided against both, leaving the room in a hurry.

His about to make his way out of the flat when he is stopped by Louis.

"What do you think you're doing?" Louis asks, arms crossed over his chest.

"Leaving" Liam says, turning around to face Louis.

"No" Louis says sternly "you don't get to leave him after getting what you want"

Louis glared at Liam, he could feel the steam practically blowing out of him.

"This has nothing to do with you Louis" Liam says through clenched teeth.

"It has everything to do with me because I'm not going to stand by and watch my best friend get hurt by you" Louis says, he's had enough of Liam constantly giving Niall hope only to disappoint him again.

"It's complicated" Liam says "I'm not trying to purposely hurt him"

"The only person making this complicated is you" Louis says "it may not seem like  you're not purposely hurting him but that's not how it's coming off to me"

"Look Okay, I'm trying here" Liam says, running a hand through his hair.

"Maybe not hard enough, you're running away after he just told you  he loves you" Louis says "do you think it's easy for him?, God knows how he can manage to love someone as fucked as you"

"I want what's best for him and I know it's not me" Liam says, sighing.  He had finally come to a conclusion that it was best for him to stay out of Niall's life.

He knows that even if he does try to change, his still going to hurt Niall somehow.  Last night was something that shouldn't have happened, he was drunk, trying to get rid of the empty void he had been feeling in his chest for the past few weeks without Niall.

It should've said something to him, the fact that he constantly missed the young boy should've been a sign to him of how deeply he was falling for him. 

It scares him.

He is scared of falling in love, of craving Niall every second of every day, of needing him, of being addicted to him. He is scared of missing him more than he can handle, of losing Niall and myself in him. He is scared of not being enough, and of seeing his insufficiency in Niall's eyes

"You walk out that door and I swear to god" Louis says, frustrated with Liam "Don't ever think about coming back into his life"

Liam stares at Louis with narrowed eyebrows for a minute before turning around and Louis breath stops for a moment thinking that Liam is walking out the flat but he only closes the front door. He lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding in, he was thankful Liam didn't leave, he didn't want to see the look of heartbreak on Niall's face when he told him Liam had left once again.

No words are exchange between them after that, Liam heading upstairs back to Niall's room. when he enters the room, Niall is still asleep. quietly he strips himself of his clothes and carefully lifts the covers off the bed, laying beside Niall.

He feels a small smile tug at his mouth as he stares at the sleeping boy. He can't take his eyes off him.

he's so beautiful. The opened curtains give the room some light. Niall only has his blanket over his lower body, his back and chest bare. His skin looking paler but still so soft even with the bruises and hand prints Liam has left on him.

Liam feels like he's just seeing the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.

Niall's eyes begin to flutter open, blue orbs meet brown.

"You stayed" Niall says, a smile on his face.

"yeah" Liam says "I'm not going anywhere" It scares him, how much he means it.

Niall grins moving a little closer to lay his head on Liam's chest. Liam doesn't say anything just wraps his arms around his waist and places a gentle kiss on the back of his neck.

"Does it scare you?" Liam asks and Niall frowns in confusion.

"Does what scare me?" He asks, frown deep.

"Being in love with me" Liam says, looking everywhere but Niall.

"No" he says "I'm not scared of love. I'm not scared of falling in love, or being in love or being loved; I'm scared of loosing it."

Liam swallows the lump that has formed in his throat "you know, I can never.." He tries to say but Niall cuts him off.

"I'm okay with that" he says, leaning up to kiss him, wanting to end the heart aching conversation.

I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't. He thinks as his lips move furiously against Liam's.