My Autistic Speech

My Autistic Story (Speech)

Most people don't even notice that I am autistic and tell me that I don't seem like I am, but the truth is, there is no specific way an autistic acts. We are all different, and autism affects each of us in a different way. There are no 2 autistics alike. It's a spectrum. Just like everyone else, we have our differences and similarities but of course, we are 'different' to other people. When we tell people, they assume things that are not entirely true. They think that we are all the same, some think all autistics can't talk, others think we are all intelligent. That's not really the truth. Just like everyone else, we have different characteristics of autism. There are plenty of autistics who can talk and not everyone is that great at maths, but can be amazing at other things.

I didn't even know I was a part of autism until I was around 13, never heard of it much before that and I knew nothing about it. Before the diagnosis, I had friends, and didn't notice I was different myself. All I knew was that I was a little more shy than everybody else and I wasn't growing out of it. As soon as I found out I was autistic, I wasn't sure what it was and kind of didn't accept it for a long time. At this time, it was my first year of high school and I had no friends, I ended up sitting by myself daily, not talking to anyone. Anxiety happened since then and now I have more trouble socialising then I did as a child. There were a few who were nice to me over the years of high school, even though I felt like I didn't really belong because of my socialising problem.

When I met other autistics on Facebook groups, I learnt more about it and now I accept being autistic. We each have had or still do have plenty of bad days and experiences but there are gifts that come with it. Being autistic is not something to be ashamed of. Many of us will always have a youthful mindset, no matter how old we are and that is something, a lot of people grow out of eventually. Plus, the journey we go through makes us stronger each day.



My biggest problem that I have is socialising. Communicating with people can be overwhelming to people like me, and so it is easier and calming to be able to be alone. This helps us regain our strength after communicating or being with people for a long period of time. For me, I have had moments where I felt lonely and isolated because of the lack of friends but now it doesn't bother me too much. I know things can always get better, no matter what the problem is.

Because communicating usually comes so easily to people, since it's more like an instinct. People just know what to do in social situations. Though, for us autistics, communicating is more of a challenge, because when I try to communicate, I am not sure what to say or talk about, plus all the other social expectations such as eye contact or gestures. This is why we can socialise so much better online. All we have to do is type. We don't have to worry about the tone of our voice, the hand gestures or eye contact.

Our social problems does not mean that we shouldn't be included, we all want to have friends as much as everyone else, it's just harder for us to try. Though people don't see us for what we are really like. They judge by appearance and the way we act. But many of us autistics are very compassionate, non-judgemental and loyal people, even if we don't show it the same way as you do. We are the ones who have to live in a world, only made for non-autistic people. People think we are hard to live with but they are a lot harder for us. Too many people judge us and this isn't right. Sure, autism is more known than it used to be but there are still plenty of myths about it, causing people to think we are all annoying, and noisy. (As you know, I'm the opposite to that). There are even people that will hate us just because we are autistic, but it doesn't stop me. I know I am better than that and I know many autistics who have been able to live independent lives. This is what I aim to do once I finish school.

Also, we don't like empathy from people, because to us, autism is not an illness or a disorder. We like to call it a different perspective or a gift just as I said before. Autism is something to be proud of, because without it, I wouldn't be me any more. There is no person 'hidden' behind the autism because the autism is an essential part of our being. It's different to many other disorders, or illnesses. It is something we are born with and live with throughout our lives. It creates our unique views, compassions and personality traits. I know not every autistic may agree with this statement, but from my Facebook groups, most of the autistic members believe this themselves. We don't need a cure for it at all. We should be happy to just be ourselves. All we need is acceptance.

Autism is a spectrum of hopes, dreams, abilities, feelings, desires, thoughts and possibilities.