Phan- Lull the Galaxy

Lull the galaxy

Authors note: hello! This is my first time publishing anything and idk if this is shit or not, but I am quite proud of it! I wrote this from my heart and solely for entertainment. Sorry in advance for any grammar and/or spelling Mistakes. Comment below what you think? Thank you for reading! Xx
-Haley

______________________________________________________

Phil remembers the first time he fell asleep.

He remembers the tears drying up on his face,tightening up his skin but he was too exhausted to move, to cry out. He was running on 8 hours of sleep for the week and it took more out of him to hide the shaking mess he had become.

He remembers closing his eyes and praying for unconscious, to not feel or hear or see. He prayed to an unknown higher power, anybody, to take him away from himself, to ease the pain of popping sleeping pills and ease his aggression that was slowly building up in him. He remembers praying for help, too stubborn and proud to seek it out from any professional. That equals to scandals. To worry. To rumours of the great youtuber seeking medical help. He's not stable! He's a freak!
The sayings sounding all too familiar to him, remembering the cries of kids chasing him down the sidewalk, throwing pinecones at him as he ran, leaving tears behind him to go along with a troubled youth.

He couldn't tell anyone. He couldn't tell Dan. Not the boy who worried so much. About his body, his friends, his career, his choices and his life. He worried about Phil. Phil remembers smiling every time he thought about Dan.

The boy was special. Dan was beautiful; that much was given. He was so, so beautiful. Phil was no poet, never, he couldn't be, not when Dan lived and breathed the world around him. But Phil could see beauty clear as day. Dan was one of those people who deserved a thousand paintings of them, who belonged in every museum. Dan was special, and every time Phil was rewarded with one single rare smile, a smile so pure and full of happiness, something only he could pull out of Dan, every time, he found purpose in living.

It physically hurt Phil that Dan hated himself. How can you hate something with so much raw feeling? With such wonder in his being you could see the galaxies forming in his eyes. He lived and breathed for Dans happiness. Phil remembers the first time he fell asleep, cause the first time he fell asleep, he fell in love with Dan.

He remembers the ungodly time in the morning. He remembers the suffocating darkness that surrounded him and then he remembers the soft piano. He remembers rushing up to the wall, flattening himself to get as close to the sound as possible.

He remembers picturing Dans fingers move softly over the keys, placing force then releasing softly, moving on to the next note. He pictured Dans face, his Galaxy eyes closed and his mouth open slightly, immersed in the beautiful sounds. It wasn't a song in particular, Phil remembers it being more then that. It wasn't a song, it was Dan. It was Dans heart and his soul being heard for the first time. It was Dan playing himself. It was Dan. Phil remembers curling up against the wall, tears of sadness filling his eyes as Dans melody flowed through him, like he was telling Phil secrets in another language. Phil remembers closing his eyes and feel the world fade out but Dan stayed.

That night Phil slept for 9 hours, Dans melody in the back of Phils mind throughout the unconscious time. He remembers waking up and seeing Dan walk past him in the hallway, his hair in soft waves, his face as calm as the the sea.

Phil remembers watching Dan sit down and curl up on the sofa, his eyes unfocused but darting around his surroundings. Phil wondered if he was thinking of his melody. He wondered if he was supposed to hear it. Dan had an extraordinary mind, one Phil could not understand. A powerful mind that could keep him pacing around his room the entire night and made him so incredibly aware of the inevitability of death and the point of existence he would curl up inside himself and stay like that for hours. Dan was brilliant and Phil felt honoured just to know someone who had such outlooks on the universe.