Faith

Chapter 3

I sat at a secluded spot at Mackenzies trying to hide from the scores of people pouring in and out of the place. I can't deny the fact that I love to people-watch, but at this moment I was craving the warmth of my blanket. I didn't want to be here one lick. Absurd as it may seem, everything I saw would remind me of Lucas. I know it was stupid and I know I had to stop giving myself such a hard time, but it was involuntary. I wanted, more than anything, to stop feeling bad. In fact I wanted to stop feeling anything for that matter. But it was so damn difficult. I didn't even understand where things went wrong. Where I went wrong. Why was I not good enough. They were idiotic thoughts and I was aware. But no matter how hard I tried to push the thoughts away, push him away, the memories came rushing back hitting me like a truck all over again. And it just kept happening. Over and over again.

My head felt like it would burst and all the noise around wasn't helping. I felt my temple which was throbbing relentlessly. Realizing now starving myself for day in and day out was a terrible idea, for I could feel bile rising within. I had to get out of here. Hurriedly grabbing my belongings I stood up to leave. My legs felt shaky as if they would collapse any minute. I wanted to get out of here before Sarah or Jake came back with the drinks as I was in no mood to offer any kind of explanations right now. Taking long strides I pushed and shoved to reach the exit, when a hand grabbed me by the shoulder.

Turning around I cringed to see the face. The sight made me feel sicker. A caked up beauty stood in front of me, flashing her perfect set of teeth in a wide and the fakest smile ever. I was unable to speak for the next couple of minutes. It was just that exasperating. Regaining my equanimity I managed to say, "Jenna!" with forged excitement I could muster. Meeting Jenna Warren was the last thing I needed right now. She was mean, superficial, ignoble, judgmental, and well a bitch to sum it all up. She went to the same high school as Adam and I, and both of us hated her from that time itself. She would forgo no opportunity to prove that you were inferior to her or demonstrate how perfect she was.

"Hi!" she said in that high pitched, whiny voice of hers.

"What are you doing here," I asked.

"Oh a friend of a friend invited me. You know how it is right? All the attention is so annoying sometimes. You have it so much easier" she said, without stopping for a second. My cheeks hurt with the fake smile on my face. All I could think about was to get out of here, far away from Jenna, where sanity prevailed. I shut out her words for it was only up to a certain extent to which I could tolerate her nonsense. Her lips kept moving but I ignored whatever she was saying. The motion stopped and her face bore an inquiring expression after some time.

"I am sorry what?" I said quickly trying to cover up my lack of attention.

"You want to join us?" she repeated.

"No," I said sternly. "I mean I have someone to meet. He is waiting for me-"

"Oh Em," she said cutting me mid sentence. Pity was evident in her voice. "Do you still have imaginary boyfriends?"

All hell would break lose any minute now. I felt this strange urge of raining down a series of punches down that face of hers.

"I never had an imaginary boyfriend Jenna," I said slowly and clearly in a cold manner. "Not now not in school. It was a cheap trick you played" I continued with gritted teeth.

"Let's not stay in denial Em. We both know that someone like you could never have dated any boy in high school. There is really no point lying about it to me now."

"Look Jenna," I said trying really hard to not unleash my rage. "I have had a long couple of weeks and I don't have the amount of energy to argue about trivial and brainless issues. I can't alter your beliefs and I will not try. I am sorry but I have to go" I said maintaining my calm. I started walking away but she stopped me again.