A Lifetime For Jannah

Where the journey begins.

Earlier this morning, 7:30 am.

"I know, I just hate when they involve me in things without asking me first. "I spoke into the phone before I got interrupted.
"Fadee! Fadee! How can you leave a pan on fire without pouring anything into it?. Come downstairs this instant!" my mum shouted from the kitchen. "Oh shoot I forgot! I'll call you when I get there. Don't miss me too much!" I said into the receiver before ending the call with Riley, my best friend.

I ran downstairs in a hurry almost tripping on the way as I entered into the kitchen only to find that mum had already fried two pancakes. I sighed gratefully and collected the spatula to fry the rest.
"What were you thinking leaving the kitchen? Do you want to burn down the house?! Kai wannan yarinyan (translation: 'oh this girl').
"I'm sorry mum" I replied.

And we left it that as she left the kitchen to attend to a crying Baby Faruq.

Time had hurriedly passed and in a moment I was done making the pancakes. I diligently arranged the table so we could all eat. One thing I love and hate to eat cold are pancakes so where there's warm pancakes I hate to delay even a minute to eat them.

"Food is ready!" I called out as every one was rushing downstairs to the dining table.
I seldom ate breakfast together with my family considering my current relationship with my family.
But today I decided to join them.

"Oh good gracious are those pancakes?" Said my brother imitating a British accent.
"No, no their not" I replied sarcastically.

Breakfast at the dining table was as bad as I expected. How awkward it was as you could feel the tense atmosphere. I couldn't help but feel antsy.

After breakfast I cleared the table, washed the plates and headed straight to my room where I decided to take a quick hot bath and change into my outfit.

Coming out of the bathroom, I blow dried my soppy hair and rubbed my body cream thoroughly.
I did my face and brought out my outfit for the trip.

I put on a turquoise and black striped shirt and a poppy red maxi skirt with a black and red flower pattern. I wore my favourite golden jewellery and added a golden colour flats with a tinge of black.

Mum hated to see me in skinny jeans but one thing I wouldn't let her force me to do was to dawn the Hijab.
I got dressed and went downstairs with my packed and ready to go luggage. I went downstairs and as my foot trod the last step the next thing I saw was a scattered family.
9:10 am,

"Munira! For God's sake hurry up! You've been feeding that baby for years isn't he full?." Said my dad.

"Just a minute Hanif! Baby Faruq needs a diaper change." Replied my mum.

"Dad! Have you seen my Physics textbook?" My brother Rashid said.

"Did you check the cupboard in your room son?. Fadee! come on we're gonna be late!" Replied dad.

"I'm coming! Sigh, this vacation is going to suck".
"Hurry! Get in the car quickly. Rashid, Rashid! Where is this kid?" My dad said as he went back into the house to call him out.
We were all in the car except him. While we were impatiently waiting for him, I lazily put on my headphones nodding my head to the beat of the music. And that's when I completely fell into a realm of thoughts.

My family is African. My late paternal grandparents are Nigerian immigrants who migrated to Australia decades ago so basically my dad is an Aussie. Being Nigerian born, dad would definitely pass down the culture and traditions that his parents taught him, including the language.

And where's mum in all of this? She's Australian African. Although she doesn't really know from which part of Africa she comes from. She surprisingly learned dad's language long before I was born and she always used to say "I did it for 'love' and for you kids."

While I can only translate what they say in their traditional Hausa language , I cannot speak it. That's why they made an effort to teach my younger brother how to speak.

At this point going to Nigeria for a vacation seems useless to me. Dad plans to get acquainted with his parents family. I wonder why he and mom can't go on their own and have to drag me along.
All they did to me wasn't enough so now they want to take me on another ride of Gehenna.

'It's going to be alright Fadee, just close your eyes and remember Allah, go to your happy place...think of Jannah Fadee, isn't that the place you wish to go best? To see things no eyes have seen?. So go there and find peace. I'll always be here for you I promise'

'You promise Amal?'

'I promise'

If only you hadn't left so soon. My life would've been a lot better. Things would've been different if only...if only...

"Fadee? What are you thinking of?" My mum interrupted my thoughts.

"What's it to you? It's not like you actually care" I replied coldly

"Fadeelah don't you dare speak to your mother that way!" My dad chipped in.

"It's already bad enough you made me come along this stupid trip without my consent! And now this?"

"When will you stop acting like a kid?!" Said my dad.

"When you stop treating me like one!"

"May Allah guide you Fadee." My mum chimed in.

I sighed exasperatedly. 'It's already bad enough that trying to improve my relationship with them has taken a downfall' I thought to my self as tears began to flow.

I wish, I just wish I could run away and never come back.
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