I'm Not Okay, (I Promise) ~A Mikey Way Love Story

9 - Well, I'm A Total Wreck

Cole POV

Finally. I've waited for over a year for Mikey to kiss me again. Thank, God, it finally happened. He put his hand on the back of my head, deepening the kiss. This went on for a while. When Mikey pulled away, he put his forehead against mine. In that moment, it was like all the problems of the last year just faded away.

"I love you." Mikey said. I felt terrible. I wanted to say it, I just couldn't.

"Why?" I asked. I had always wondered this. How could someone ever possibly love me. I'm a total train wreck. Let's go over the problems.

1) Depression

2) Self-Harm

3) Suicidal

4) Family Issues

5) Anxiety

I could probably go on.

"Did you just ask me why I love you?" Mikey asked, on the verge of tears. Damn, I didn't know he cries. He's always been stronger than me. He's never cried in front of me; not even when he was talking me out of suicide.

"How can you? I'm such a fucking train wreck. I-I have all these scars on my wrists, I get really depressed at times, I have anxiety, my family hates me, and you had to talk me out of fucking killing myself!" I actually started crying, again. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me onto his lap. I rested my head on his shoulder and just cried.

"Because I think you're perfect. That's not what made me fall in love with you. I fell in love with you because I saw imperfections perfectly." I just continued to cry.

"I love you, too." I finally said back.

"I know." Mikey said, happily. I looked at him confused.

"You promised, remember? You waited." Mikey said. He was right, I did promise, and I kept that promise. I smiled and leaned in to kiss Mikey again. His lips were soft and gentle, but they were getting wet from my left over tears.

There was a knock on the door, which caused Mikey pull away. He moved me from his lap and walked over to the door. He opened the door and Frank walked in.

"Hey Cole, so I was wondering if, um, you could give me Cassie's phone number?" He said, shaky. Wow, he was really falling for Cass.

"Yeah," I pulled out my phone, and thought of a better idea. I discreetly turned my phone, and pretended it was dead. "Oh, crap, um my phone just died. Hey, Mikey do you have a charger I can use?" Apparently, some of Cassie's mischievousness had rubbed off on me.

"Well, I have-" he started, but he stopped when I gave him a "Bitch-Do-Not-Even-Finish-That-Sentence-Because-I-Am-Trying-To-Play-Matchmaker-For-These-Two-Little-Midgets" look. He caught on and said, "Yeah, there's one on my nightstand." He took my hand and led me to his room. Once we were in his room, I turned my phone back on. I picked it up and dialed Cassie's number.

"What are you doing?" Mikey asked.

"Playing matchmaker." I said, quietly.

"Hello?" I heard Cassie say.

"Hey, Cass, listen, I'm at Mikey's and Frank's here. So if you want your fairy-tale ending with that little midget, I suggest you get your ass over here." I said so Frank wouldn't hear me.

"Uh, Gerard do know where Mikey lives?" I faintly heard Cassie say.

"Okay! I'll be there in ten minutes!" She was really excited. I hung up and left my phone on Mikey's bed.

"Cole the matchmaker. Hm, that's got a nice ring to it." Mikey said, taking my hand, once again.

"Don't get used to it. I only did it for the midgets."

We walked back into the living room where Frank was. He looked at me, his eyes wide.

"So my phone's completely dead, it's gonna take about ten minutes for it to come back on, then I can get you he number." I lied. He smiled and hugged me. Not just like a normal hug, though. It was, like, a full-on ninja attack hug. Oh my, God, you have not lived, until you have been attack hugged by a four-foot-nine midget.

"Okay, you can get off of me now." I said, and he let go of me. So, for ten minutes we just talked. Mostly about how Frank has had a major crush on Cass since tenth grade. I looked over at the clock on the wall. Cassie should be here any minute. Just as I finished that thought, the doorbell rang. I got up and opened the door. Cassie stood on the other side and she looked really nervous.

"Where's Gee?" I asked.

"Phone." She said, quickly.

"Cass, you'll be fine." I said, trying to reassure her. She breathed in and out, and stepped in the house. We walked into the living room and Cass looked like she was ready to pass out. Frank turned around so he was looking at Cassie. His eyes went huge, and then it was really awkward for a minute.

"Okay, so how about you two go back to the hotel and just talk. I can stay here." I said.

"U-uh, u-um o-ok." Frank said. He stood up and walked over to Cassie and then, they left. Now, it was just me and Mikey.

"So, what do you wanna do?" He asked.

" I don't know. Wanna just watch a movie?"

"Sure." I walked over to where all the movies were and pulled out a few that we both loved. Halloween, Nightmare On Elm Street, Friday The 13th, and My Bloody Valentine. There was just something about 80's movies that we loved. I handed him the movies and we watched them in that order. By the time they were over, it was 7:30.

"Are you hungry?" Mikey asked.

"Not really." He looked at me concerned.

"Have you eaten at all today?"

"No. Now that I think about it, I didn't eat yesterday, either." I said. His jaw slightly dropped.

"Oh my, God, Cole. You need to eat something."

"Can I just eat a shit-load of popcorn, then?" I asked. He looked at me like I was mentally insane.

"You have to admit, it's a valid question." I said.

"Fine, but tomorrow you have to eat real food." He said. I nodded and Mikey went to go make popcorn. I picked out some more movies and put one in. Mikey walked in and sat down next to me. I got a little scared as the title menu for Child's Play came up. I'm freaking terrified of this movie. Plus, they light's were off, to make even scarier. I'm picked this so I could do the cliche move, where I get scared and be all cute, and we cuddle and shit. Well, it worked, because twenty minutes into the movie, my face was buried in Mikey's shoulder. He just laughed at me.

When the movie was over, I was extremely tired.

"You wanna go to sleep?" Mikey asked me. I just nodded in response. Mikey stood up but I was to tired and lazy to get up. Mikey looked at me and sighed.

"You want me to carry you, don't you?" He asked. I just smiled in response. He picked me up bridal-style and carried me into his room. He set me down on his bed and I smiled again.

"Do you care if I take my shorts off?" I asked, because the denim is starting to hurt.

"Not at all." He said. I smiled, slid my shorts off, and threw them on the floor. Mikey laid down next to me and snaked his arm around my waist.

"You're the best boyfriend, ever, you know that right?"

"Boyfriend?" He looked like he was about to explode.

"Well, yeah. We made a deal, remember." I said, smiling.

"I love you, don't ever forget that." He said.

"I wont. I love you, too." And with that, I fell asleep.

Feel the romance my Pixies

XoXo

~XhannahX