I'm Not Okay, (I Promise) ~A Mikey Way Love Story

25 - I'd Encourage Your Smiles...

Cassie POV

"Cass, you seriously need to calm down. All the stress isn't good for the baby." Cole said.

"I can't help that I'm stressed! In eight weeks, I'm going to be in the most pain I've ever been in, I've been throwing up non-stop for the past few weeks, and we don't even have a room for the baby yet!" I said. Cole and Mikey came over to help us with the baby room.

"Cass, stop stressing. You have eight weeks until the little hell raiser is born. That's about," She paused, I'm assuming to do the mental math, "fifty-six days, give or take. You have nothing to worry about."

I started crying. For the past week, I've been a complete mess of emotions. It's seriously pissing me off.

"Sweetie, please don't cry. It breaks my heart when I see you cry." Frank said while hugging me.

"I-I'm sorry. I'm just really scared."

"What are you scared of?" Frank asked, concern filling his voice.

"Everything," I whispered. "Giving birth, parenthood, raising a child. I'm scared that I'm going to be a terrible Mom. Wh-what if we're not meant to be parents? There are couples out there that would be better parents than me and they can't even have kids. Maybe," I paused, "maybe one of those couples-"

"Cassie, please don't tell me that you want to give Payton up for adoption." Frank said, almost crying.

"I don't want to, but I have this fear in the back of my mind that I'm not ready to be a parent."

"Cass, for eight months you've been fine. Why are you saying all of this now?"

"I just want what's best for Payton." I said, quietly.

Frank hugged me tighter. "You and me raising Payton is what's best for him! Everything is going to be fine. I want this more than anything, but if you're one-hundred percent sure that you want to give Payton up, than we will."

"Cass," Cole said, "Please tell me that you want to keep him."

"On one hand, I want to. But, on the other hand, I feel like he deserves better. I-I don't want to bring him into this world, knowing that I'm a terrible parent."

"But you don't know that! You don't know that you're a terrible parent, until you're actually a parent! There's eight weeks until Payton is even born! That's eight weeks where you can reassure yourself that you can do this." Cole said, crying.

"How about this," I said. "How about you give me a week to decide."

"Decide what?" Frank and Cole said, at the same time.

"To decide if I want to keep Payton or give him up for adoption."

"O-okay." Frank said, quietly. Cole stood quietly.

"Cole?"

"Fine." She said, almost inaudibly. She whipped her eyes, then ran out of the room.

"Cole." Mikey said, running after her.

Cole POV

I ran to the car and locked myself inside. I pulled my knees to my chest and cried into them. I don't know why she's even thinking about this!

"Are you okay?" Someone asked, causing me to jump.

"Shit." I said, quietly. I looked at Mikey and whipped my eyes again.

"How'd you get in, I locked the door." He held up his keys and I tried to smile. Key word: tried. Mikey hugged me and rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"It's okay." Mikey said.

"I just don't understand how she could do this." I said, quietly.

"Let's just go home and in a week, we'll see what she says." I nodded and closed my eyes. Maybe I'll fall asleep and forget about all of this.

One Week Later...

"Have you made a decision?" I asked Cassie. She's had a week to decide if she wants to keep Payton or not. Hopefully she does.

"Yes." She said.

"So what is it?" Frank asked, nervously.

"I've decided to..."

Suspense! I literally cried while writing this.

XoXo

~XhannahX