Welcome to the Crazy House

Year 2013: I love you maman

I asked Rita why don't they free me already, and she gave me a very complex answer I didn't understand. There was something suspicious there. They kept me isolated from real life; they acted like I was dangerous to society, when all I wanted to do was be by myself. But not here in this crazy house. I wanted to go back to my dirty apartment. Why didn't I have any word in all this? I hated it.

Rita if you are reading this, please don't get me wrong, you are a nice person and sometimes it is lovely to talk to you, but I just want to be free.

On 12th of February a nurse said I had a visit. Finally! I almost run (I am not allowed to run.) down the hallway and into the "living room". I looked around and there she was. Louise. A lovely blonde girl. Oh, after not seeing her for 3 years made me realize how important she really was to me. And how beautiful she was. O Bog.

"Hey Evgeni," she said smiling.

"Zhivoy."

"How are you? You lost some weight ... are you okay? Why did they put you here? How did you get here?"

"I am fine. Fine ..."

"How did you get here?"

"Maman sent them to get me."

"Your mother? Why would she do that?"

"You don't believe me?"

"I do. I do. It just surprises me. But honestly locking your child into a hospital doesn't really sound like a definition of a good mother ... my opinion."

"Don't insult her."

"I am sorry."

"You are right. Why did she lock me up? Nothing is wrong with me."

She didn't answer. It seemed like she knew what was wrong with me but didn't want to tell me. I was on the edge of another betrayal.

"Do you think you could talk to my doctor and ask her when I'd go home?"

"I don't think that is possible. I am not a relative."

"Fuck that."

"Sorry."

"Maybe I should call maman and ask her about that ..."

"Maybe ..."

"Do you miss me?"

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

"Do you miss me?"

Silence.

Silence.

"Do you miss me?"

Silence.

"Do you miss me?"

"You know that I do. Do you miss me?"

"Every night."

"No one speaks nice to me now that you don't call me anymore."

"So ... you are still a hooker?"

"I have to survive somehow."

"I know ... sorry ... have you been to my flat?"

"I don't have keys."

"Did you bring wine?"

"Evgeni ... you are in a hospital. You know that it is not possible."

A woman came and announced that the visit is over. I hugged Louise and she said bye. I said bye too. She was gone.