Am I your anything?(afi FANFICTION)

What was brutality?

Here's the fourth chapter. Written in Davey's point of view and what not. Hope you enjoy it.

When the world seems bright and perfect, there is an underlying tone of devilishness that exists in all living things. From the trees, to the air, to the clouds...there is something lurking beneath the surface, waiting to spring up and attach itself to the nearest living thing. That's why I felt so empty on the inside, realizing that I had given up something so beautiful because of my selfish morals. He had needed me...and I had turned him away. The guilt was eating at me like it had at him, but I was trying to handle it better.

The hospital was one of the cleanest places in the world, always scrubbed and sanitized because bacteria is the number one factor in causing a death. All things start from bacteria and cells. Even the human race did at one point in time.

The halls of this hospital seemed too long to traverse, too hard to follow to the outside world. I never wanted to leave that small room in the Intensive Care Unit. Jade was in there, and I was going to be with him. He hadn't died...but he had lost a lot of blood, initially making him slip into a coma. The doctors said that he had a chance to survive as long as we leave him there. But we had one request...and that was to not keep him after he was healthy. That meant putting him in the mental ward. I didn't know if I could handle that. Already I was breaking down simply by sitting there with him.

I could feel the warmth of his hand in mine as I held it. Since after his surgery post-arrival, I had sat with him, my fingers gripping his tightly and hoping to never let go. There hadn't been sleep in nearly two days for me...but I could hold on. Insomnia was one of my greatest feats when I was under a massive amount of stress. And that was the status of my situation at the moment.

Reaching out, I stroked the blond locks of Jade's bangs and then smiled almost bitterly, realizing that I had done this to him just by being near him. But I wasn't going to run away...I was going to face this and show him that I was here for him...that I did love him.

"Come on Jade...wake up for me."

There was no stir from him, no change in his vitals, which were being monitored by those annoying machines that beeped every so often. Biting on my lower lip, I bowed my head and then rested my forehead on the mattress next to his arm, feeling the heat in my throat and mouth. They were tightening up as I started to choke on my own guilt, the tears coming up out of my eyes and gliding down my cheeks smoothly. A few dripped into my mouth and I licked at them before looking up again.

The way that his face was made, so sharp and smooth, angelic in a way and yet gruff and tough looking made him seem like the strongest guy out there, always the one that protected us when it was necessary. Of course, I had no idea that most of the protection that he gave me, be it from rough fans or just rude people, had been because he thought of me as his. That's what he had wanted, he said. He wanted me to be his and only his...and he wanted to be only mine. Those tears clouded my vision again and I spoke, albeit choking between a few words on sobs.

"I'm sorry Jade...I'm so...sorry. I should have known...I should have seen it. This is...my fault. I led you to this, I made you do this by rejecting you, by ignoring your feelings. You confessed to me how you felt...and I just tore through it like it was nothing. Well that's not the case."

Moving closer to him, I looked towards the door to check to see if any nurses were coming, before I set the IV cords aside. I didn't want to tear them out of him or anything. They were helping sustain his life and what not whilst he was in that coma. Laying down next to him, I rested my head on his shoulder and my right hand on his chest simply because I was on his right side. Sobbing a little against the warmth of his flesh, feeling the lankiness of his frame, yet the strength that lay just under the skin, I shuddered and spoke a little more, my tone hurt and almost strained by the fact that I was breaking down once more.