Why?

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I am so pissed at my cellphone because, even though I've corrected maximum of the typos, grammar and included some extra things, it just won't show after I've saved the changes :/ :(
I wanna ask, what do you guys see in the chapter 'Characters: Main' in the last section? Where I've mentioned some names that you'll get to know about later?
And what can you see in the third chapter, where it previously was "LikeHolmes". Now I changed it to "Brother mine, don't ask...".
Hope you all don't have a problem with the reading and corrections I made.

Please vote and comment. x.

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