When You Fall

You never choose who you will love. Not really. Sometimes you just fall head first and you're petrifired that they'll leave you because it seems far too good for them to see something good or remotely attractive in you.

 

Sometimes they are the ones that are broken first.

 

Like how my best friend is. He's screwed himself over so many times that it appears that he can't even get the pieces of his heart back. He can be so nonchalant and careless that it hurts most of the time.

 

Deirdre is that guy, you know the one that you tell your parents about when you get home because he did something incredibly stupid. More or less the so-called "bad kid".

 

And here I was, Salvadora, the quiet girl that no one even acknowledged the existence of. But, that was not me at all. So, when I had decided to be myself the next year, I had attracted the attention of someone who was destined to be fixed.

 

And of course, by me.

 

See, in the beginning, I could have cared less about Deirdre. Because I had liked his best friend, Minax. So, I had thought that since Deirdre was the best friend of my proximity infatuation, I should be friends with him.

 

Now, before you go calling me a bitch know that you have done something similar.

 

But, I was completely thrown off racket whenever I saw him, I looked two seconds more than a cursory glance and I never looked away.

 

Deirdre's face became something that my heart became addicted to. But, I had firmly told my heart to shut the fuck up.

 

Because I had heard the rumors. I knew he was a player, was into drugs, and just was a bad influence.

 

But, I still wanted Minax. So I did the most stupid thing that a girl like me could ever do.

 

I climbed in bed with shattered remains of a boy.