Letters to Lou *Larry Stylinson*

Explanation

Ok, so in general, I believe stories are fun when you have to mull over the meaning, but incase you didn't understand the story cause I have a slight tendency to rush and not edit when I write (hehe, sorry,) then read the explanation below:

Before story:

So, to be clear, Harry and Louis are married and adopted Darcy before the timeline of this story. On the Christmas Eve when Darcy was four, Louis and Harry forgot to buy something (this is just ambiguous, doesn't matter really) so Louis sets out that night to buy whatever that thing was, and dies in a car accident. Harry himself is traumatized, and since Darcy was incredibly young, Harry fails to properly explain to her the situation.

Chapters "Age 5" to "Age 17":

"Age 5": Darcy finally asks why Louis left, and Harry isn't sure how to explain to a five year old about death, so he makes up the story that Louis was an elf for santa, due to the fact that Louis left around Christmas and that he kinda does look elf ish. He then tells Darcy to write a letter for Louis, who Darcy believes is at the North Pole working for Santa. So, from "Age 5" to "Age 14," Harry takes Darcy's letters and drives out around Christmas time to Louis' grave, where he just kinda puts the letter there, I guess.

"Age 8": Most important thing to know is that during the Christmas party (with Zayn, Liam, Niall, and the rest of the gang) Harry is searching his closet for his old camera. Inside there are images from when Darcy was three or so. In the picture, Louis looks at the camera surprised, but Harry couldn't remember why Louis was surprised. Later, after the party, Darcy and Harry take a picture together, but Darcy surprises Harry, so Harry has a look of surprise on his face. Harry feels guilty for not remembering the good times before Louis died because he let grief take over him, so he vows to remember why he was surprised in the new picture.

It is implied in this chapter that Louis left Harry and Darcy when Darcy was four.

"Later that night, Louis slipped on his coat and drove off, leaving their lives forever."

"Age 10": Darcy discovers lube.

"Age 11": In this chapter, Darcy and Harry watch a sad film, in which it is implied that the film shows a family with a girl around Darcy's age, and the parents split. By now, we know that Darcy doesn't believe in Santa and all that stuff cause she states it in this chapter. However, she thinks that Louis just left cause maybe Harry and Louis had an argument. She doesn't ask Harry directly, cause she doesn't want to hurt him by making him talk.

Importantly, in this chapter, Harry reveals that he believes in alternate lifetimes (he's an AU fan) and before Louis died, he felt like the luckiest Harry out of all the lifetimes of Harrys. However, once Louis died, he felt ripped off. He desires to just pass on to a new lifetime where he can be happily with Louis, but he is afraid that lifetime wouldn't have Darcy. In other words, Harry implies that he contemplates suicide just to be in another lifetime, but doesn't because he is afraid Darcy won't be in the other lifetime, so he decides to cherish the time that he has with Darcy, even though it is painful without Louis.

"And Harry lies there, thinking. Harry has always believed in other lifetimes, although not very strictly, but it's a nice thought he likes to contemplate. It used to be that he felt like the luckiest Harry out of all the lifetimes, but now, it just feels like he's been ripped off. Even if there are other lifetimes, this one is still the one in the present, and nothing in him screams more than to get this lifetime over and on to the next.

Then Harry gets afraid that Darcy won't be in the next life, and nothing scares him more than that. He couldn't imagine a world without Darcy, yet it hurts so much to stay in this lifetime."