Stories From Therapy

Wretched and devine

*Andy's POV*
I sat in the car, waiting for my mom to get done with the papers she had to fill out for me to be admitted to the mental health hospital in San Francisco, California. I still don't understand why I have to go all the way to California when Cincinnati has a mental hospital, but my parents insisted on me going to a better hospital since I've been in and out of mental hospitals since I was 14... So, with my flight leaving in 5 hours, I'm sitting here in my favorite KISS sweatshirt, black sweatpants, and slip on shoes. The hospital doesn't allow you to wear anything that has strings. I guess people have tried to kill themselves while in the hospital, so they can't have people bringing objects that could bring harm into the hospital.

My mom silently started the car, leaving me to my thoughts as we started on our journey to the airport. I wonder what my roommate is going to be like; if I have one. I wonder what's going to happen over the next few months, or however long I'm going to be stuck in this hell hole. "Andy. We're here." My mother interrupted my thinking, making me jump at her voice. I nodded, not saying a word while we got out of the car and hurried across the airport to the gate where my plane was going to be arriving shortly. I haven't spoken a word in years, which is one of the reasons why I have been in and out of hospitals. That and the fact that I was diagnosed with depression at the age of 10, so about 8 years ago.

I sat there, eating a cheese, fruit, and cracker box that my mother bought me from the airport coffee shop she went to after we had gotten to the gate. "Now boarding, flight 170 to San Francisco." A voice over the intercom said. "Come on, Andy." Mother said quietly as she picked up my bags and ushered me to the gate. I ignored the disgusted looks that I got from the other passengers as my mother and I shuffled to our seats. I knew what they were thinking. They could obviously tell that I am gay. From my straightened black hair to my lined sky blue eyes, every part of me screamed "emo faggot". Well, at least to them it does. Just because a guy wears makeup, doesn't mean he's gay. Oh well. I put my ear buds in, blasting Mötley Crüe as I stared out the window, before I leaned my head forward and passed out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*time skip*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Andy! Andy, wake up! We're here." My mother's soft voice interrupted my dreams, making them scatter and forcing me to open my eyes to the blinding light of the plane. I looked out of the window and saw that the sky was dark, telling me that it was sometime during the night. I followed my mother as she carried my luggage off of the plane and through the airport. We didn't stop until we were at the baggage claim, where we grabbed my small suitcase. We then proceeded to walk out of the front door of the airport and grabbed the first cab that we could find. "To San Francisco Mental Health Hospital please." My mother said to the driver, who nodded and started the car.

We sat in silence for a while. My parents gave up trying to get me to talk years ago, so silence was normal. The cab quietly came to a stop in front of a very large, gray building that had the words "San Francisco Mental Health Hospital" in bold white letters. I sighed as my mother paid the driver and grabbed my bags. I followed her to the front desk of the arctic hospital. Seriously, have they ever heard of a heater.

I was barely paying attention when my mother was handing in the paperwork. "Okay, Andy. Your father and I will be back here in a month to check up on your progress. I love you, honey." My mother said sweetly. I nodded quietly before giving her a tight hug goodbye. I sat back down, depressed that she was leaving. I sat there for a moment before a blonde haired nurse walked up to me and smiled. "You must be Andrew. My name is Harley. Harley Jackson." Her voice and behavior reminded me of Harley Quinn from batman, which made me smile while she explained the rules of the hospital. "Now, if you would follow me, I'm going to take you to your room." I silently got up and followed her, just listening to her pointless chatter.

She must have been told that I don't talk because she didn't even attempt to get me to say anything, which was relaxing for me. I hate it when people try to get me to talk because no matter how much they try, I'm not saying a word. "And this is your room! You'll be sharing it with Nikki." Harley's high pitched voice interrupted my thoughts, making me nod my head just to get her to shut the fuck up. She smiled and opened the door, lighting the dark room up a little. My new roommate, Nikki I think, was sound asleep in his bed in the far left side of the room, leaving the bed on the right side of the room open for me.

I carried my bag into the room, shut the door behind me, and pulled out a pair of boxers. I was confident that Nikki couldn't see me in the darkness, so I pulled my pants and boxers down, taking my time. "Well, that's an ass." A voice that sounded familiar came from Nikki's bed, scaring the living shit out of me. I almost gave myself a wedgie with how fast I pulled up my new boxers, and I turned around. I tried to see Nikki, but I could only see his outline in the dark room. "Not going to say anything back, huh." He said, obviously annoyed by my muteness. I shook my head dramatically so that he could see my head move in the darkness. He let out a loud sigh and turned over in his bed so that he was facing away from me. I let out a very quiet sigh as I fell into my new bed. I just stared at the ceiling, letting tears run down my cheeks as I cried myself to sleep once again.