journal

2:58am sept.20.2015

Starting as of now I'll use you
Well Hi my name is Ash and well I haven't been happy lately.
I have been bullied a lot but I'm glad it has stopped.
I was born and raised in Florida till the age of 6 and then I moved to the united states .
I had a good childhood I guess.
It was last year that depression has gotten me and my anxiety has gotten worse.
I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't think and I just bottle up everything and I don't know if I can take it any longer.
Having the constant fear of getting hurt again or just something awful in general happen is not a good thing.
I can't sleep with my lights off or I'll see weird shit or hear stuff. I then started making friends, but they can't help anymore.
I then started watching my favorite YouTubers again like Mark,Jack,Cyndago, cry and pewdie
But then last night Daniel died and i can't deal with it much
So I'll leave a message here
Dear Daniel,
You we're an amazing guy . you made me laugh, you made me happy, you made many people happy in cyndago and you had a great voice. You and your buddies where one of the best thing to happen to use. So now we have a new star in the galaxy here and I hope that you shine bright whoever you are. I'm not good with this but R.I.P and keep being a funny guy.
Lots of love
Ash (and the family)

"Do not stand at my grave and weep
I am not there; I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sun on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there; I did not die."