journal

10:17pm SAT May 28 2016

Hi, its been a while?
last night was the most fun I've had a while I guess I was very happy. I went to my school "formal dance" if you can even call it that. I danced a lot with Cloe, only person who wanted to dance with me there. Not even my date wanted to dance. He's still a nice guy though. (There's a picture of me on top)
Well since I've been through a lot since then I guess I'll tell you everything. Long or short I'll try.
Well a few months ago I came out to my parents... my mom is trying but my dad ignores any signs I don't think he remembers.
He's been drinking a lot ...I've seen it happen it puts him in a better mood I guess. But he then speaks everything in his mind. I think is because I stopped talking to him, but my mom is helping me though,and so is my big sister, I love her and I miss her. A lot.
I came out to my friends, they were surprisingly accepting and I broke out crying that day at school.I was still sad and I talked to the my school councilor she was so nice and accepting. She even brought me a bandage the next day. I knew it was dangerous to wear those. But it helped
I was so happy. I have a binder now though.
Lately though I've been feeling shitty, crappy even. Ive been sad and so angry, for no fucking reason, but i know there has to be a reason. The thoughts have gotten worse, I've been feeling scared you know?.
Life isn't easy anymore.
I hope I feel better soon. I can't feel like this forever, I think.
Well bye for now.
-Sam (aka Ash)