Remnants of Shattered Innocence (Unedited First Draft)

Chapter 18 (October 6, 2004)

Skylar turned on her phone. She knew who she wanted to call, but she didn't know what she wanted to say to him. He'd probably be happy, Skylar imagined. She dialed the numbers from memory and hit the call button. As she was waiting for him to answer, she cleared her throat.

"Skylar," Jimmy said happily. "Can you meet me? There's a lot of stuff we need to talk about. I can't wait to see you."

Jimmy was talking quickly. She expected him to be happy, but not this happy. It disappointed her a bit.

"I don't feel like going out today," Skylar said, trying not to be upset.

"What's wrong? You sound sad," Jimmy said worried.

"Look Jimmy, I was really just calling to let you know," she paused unsure of how to say it, "I did it."

Skylar waited for a response.

"You what?" Jimmy sounded dumbfounded. "But, I thought," Jimmy began to speak but became quiet.

After a few seconds, Skylar heard a noise that unsettled her.

"Are you crying?" Skylar asked.

"No," Jimmy whimpered.

"Jimmy!" Skylar exclaimed, "Why are you crying?"

"I just didn't realize how badly I wanted you to keep the baby until this morning and you said your mom was taking you if you went. I drove by your house today and saw your mom's car so I thought you didn't do it and I got really excited," Jimmy blurted out.

Skylar could tell he was crying. She didn't know what to feel. All she knew at this moment was that she wasn't the only person who wanted this baby, she was never alone in this battle. Feeling as if her world were crumbling, she felt like she were having a panic attack.

"You mean, you wanted the baby?" Skylar asked, feeling as if her breath had been sucked out of her.

"Yes, but I didn't want to make you keep it," Jimmy sniffled.

"Jimmy, I have to go. I'll call you later."

Skylar hung up the phone without waiting for a response. She felt sick and she felt disgusted in herself. At this moment, Skylar wished she could just disappear. She threw herself back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling.

It felt like Skylar had been laying there for only fifteen minutes, but when she turned her head and looked at the clock, it was an hour later. She didn't feel like moving. Trying to hold her tears back, she kept silently asking herself 'why?' There was no answer she could give herself that would make her feel better. In her eyes, no reason was good enough for taking another life, especially one so fragile and vulnerable.

She tried to push those thoughts out of her head. Skylar was determined not to cry again. Leaving her mind blank, she closed her eyes and tried to go back to sleep. Too bad she wasn't tired anymore. Keeping her eyes closed, she tried to think of the future, of who she'd be. She imagined herself in college at first, but realized she only ever wanted to go to college to please her parents. Suddenly, she was sick of pleasing her parents.

Skylar's eyes flew open as her bedroom door opened. It was her father. He stared at her for a few seconds before speaking.

"Dinner's ready," he said quietly.

"I'm not hungry," Skylar mumbled.

"Then just come sit with us, please."

Her father closed the door before she could respond. Skylar took a deep breath and exhaled sharply as she threw the covers off herself. She slowly walked downstairs and sat at the bare table.