Panic Prone (ON HOLD)

Three

"You're wearing far too many clothes," Brandon calls from the river as he swims toward me. I'm sitting in the grass, the glittering sun making Brandon's eyes that calm brown. They stop me from saying something smartass back. They're gorgeous and arresting, and I love the way he looks at me.

As if reading my thoughts he stands up in the water, shaking out his hair. "You should come in," he tells me. He's not naked. Completely. He's wearing black boxer briefs that hang low. I grin, watching the water drip down his skin as he walks my way.

"Dude, put on some clothes," Hayden says as he appears over the hill. He's wearing his swimsuit, two towels over his shoulder. He throws one at Brandon.

Brandon shoots me another glance and winks, as if telling me I missed out on a great opportunity. He's probably right. Not that I would have gone swimming. I don't even know how.

Brandon wipes his hair with the blue-striped towel. "Sorry if my physique is intimidating you," he says to Hayden. "I didn't have time to go to my house."

"Or you're avoiding it because you stole your dad's car," Hayden adds.

Brandon smiles. "Something like that."

"Does anybody have food?" I ask, leaning back on my elbows. I squint my eyes against the sun as I look over my shoulder at Hayden. His face is still pale, and I know he must be thinking of Caity. She used to come swimming with us too. She used to be one of us.

"Energy bar?" He fishes in his pocket and then tosses one to me. I look down at it and groan.

"I hate peanut butter."

Hayden shakes his head. "Sorry I didn't have time to bake you a lasagna, princess. Next time I'll be more considerate."

"Good to hear."

Brandon lays his towel on the grass next to me and then stretches out on his stomach, watching me open the wrapper. "I like peanut butter," he says nonchalantly. I laugh and hand the PowerBar over to him. Before he bites into it, he narrows his eyes and nods his chin to me.

"What?" I ask.

"Give me a kiss," he whispers.

"No." Just a few feet away Hayden is stretching and putting down his own towel, getting ready for a swim.

Yes, Brandon mouths.

I shake my head, not wanting to make Hayden uncomfortable. Before it wouldn't have mattered. He and Caity sometimes spent the first half of our swim dates back at the car. But now it seems wrong to kiss in front of him. Salt in an open wound.

Brandon's eyebrows knit together as he seems to realize it too. He lays his cheek on his folded arms and watches me solemnly. I reach to stroke my fingers down his shoulder, over the names on his arm: David. Hannah. Bethany. Tanner.

And they're just the ones who died. The list doesn't include the ones who were taken away by The Program. It doesn't even include Caity.

"Is the water cold?" Hayden asks, staring at the river.

"Hell yeah," Brandon responds, not looking away from my eyes. "Feels good though."

Hayden nods, then walks to the water. Once he's wading out, I lower myself down to rest my cheek on Brandon's arm, my face close to his. My heart is aching. My confidence is worn thin.

"Tell me it will be okay," I say seriously.

He doesn't hesitate. "Everything will be okay, Harley. Everything will be fine." He puts no emotion behind his words, but I can believe him. He's never given up on me.