From Worse to Worse

3. Selfish

As soon as I got in from the Sprint store I plugged up my new phone. This new LG would probably be considered a downgrade from my Samsung to most but considering my current situation and the unexpected possibility that this phone could end up smashed to shit as it's former relative I thought it was a safer 'a.k.a. less expensive choice'.

I had spoken to Chris during my drive home. She had given birth to a baby boy who looked just like him according to Chris. The excitement in his voice was like a million needles through my heart. My eyes began to tear up and I had to pull over on the side of the interstate. I could hear the smiles in his voice as he talked to me about this kid like I was his friend and not his heartbroken lover. Went on and on about the baby's height and weight like I cared. On and on about wanting the baby to be a junior but deciding to wait on the test results. About how he was going to stay the night at the hospital to spend time with the baby because his whore was exhausted from giving birth. How they were going to wait a few days before doing the test because they wanted 'lil man' to be able to settle in this new place without being poked and prodded and tested every ten minutes his first day here. Said all of this to me as I sat on the side of the highway crying silently as his boasted about a bastard child that might not even be his. Crying as he expressed the joy of being a parent to a child born to a woman that wasn't me. Crying as the thought of us working through this infidelity vanished.

He didn't ask how I was holding up. Or how I had been doing since he ran out of the house at four this morning. He just went on and on and on about him and how great he was doing. When he was done he just simply said "Aight, I'll hit you later though." No "I love you." or any other reassuring words. Just a standard dismissal he reserved for his homeboys. I was no longer special. I had went from first to second...no third. There was no way I could top his child let alone his child's mother. He hung up and I sat on the shoulder of the road staring through the windshield watching cars in the distance whizzing by one another. I wiped my eyes and sat there silently. Then I screamed. At the top of my lungs. Long. And loud.

I flipped the visor down and grimaced at the smeared mascara and eyeliner. My perfect cateye ruined. The bright whites of my eyes were streaked with red irritated veins. I wiped my eyes again before turning on my blinker and merging back onto the interstate.

°*°*°*°*°*°*

Once I got in the house I went straight to the cabinet and grabbed the smaller bottle of New Amsterdam Gin. I had taken out a shot glass but it sat empty on the kitchen island as I walked over to the chaise sitting by the living room window. I tilted the bottle, taking a big gulp of the gin immediately placing my hand on my chest as the liquid heat radiated outwards.

I peaked between the curtains catching a beautiful sunset in multiple hues of red, pink and light purple. I sucked my teeth and took another swig of gin not feeling the burn as much this time. My phone stared at me with a blank face until I tapped my screen lighting it up. Ah, what the hell.
Hey.

Who is this?

Is this the white boy:)

Lol. Sup lady

Nothing. Can you talk?

I'll call you in a few. Cool?

:)

About ten minutes later my phone rang with its generic ringtone as I made a mental note to change it later.

"Hey," I answered. "You weren't busy were you?"

"Nope. Not now I'm not." His response made me feel like he had made time for me. Wrapped up whatever he was doing in order to talk to me. "So, Lady, what have you been doing with your evening since we parted."