Faking it

part 12.

“MACY IT’S NOT MY FAULT OK? It’s not like I want to break up with you!” Niall says, trying to hold back tears. I have never seen Niall actually cry, yeah he’s cried on stage but that’s like getting choked up. Now he is actually about cry harder than me.

I just can’t believe he is letting management take away his and my happiness. I honestly do love him.

“Niall why can’t you grow balls and stand up to them!? God you never stand up for yourself or me for that matter!” I’m starting to get light headed from all the screaming so I sit on the bed, crying into my pillow. I can feel Niall sitting next to me and I can hear his sobs; it honestly is killing me seeing him cry over this, but if he just told management off then we wouldn’t be in this situation.

“If only it was that easy” he mumbles rubbing his eyes with his palms.

“But it is that easy Niall! Do you even love me? because if you did you would tell those stupid fuckers to fuck right off and go butt fuck each other some more.” I state. Niall laughs at my last comment but starts to cry again.

“Of course I love you Macy! I’m just afraid they will take away my career.”  Now I’m really mad. I stand up and walk out of the room. “Where are you going?” he asks. “out.” I am actually going down the hall to bitch these mother fuckers out for telling Niall what to do all the time and to break up with me just because the ‘fans’ don’t like me. you know what, if they were true fans they would shut their fucking mouths and just keep their irrelevant thoughts to themselves.

I banged on managements hotel room door and waited till someone opened it. after a good minute of knocking someone finally came. “hey, Macy what’s up?” this scrawny, nerdy looking guy says. “What’s up? Oh you know just the fact that you mother fuckers told Niall to break up with me just because the damn fans hate me!” I snap; my voice getting louder with each word. The nerd looks scared. He should be. “Macy, calm down…” was all he had to say to push me to the edge. “CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN? FUCK NO! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST RUN HIS LIFE AND TAKE AWAY HIS HAPPINESS AND MINE FOR THAT MATTER! YOU ARE FUCKING WRONG DUDE!” I am screaming in his face; the others in the room are at the door and all the boys have come out of their rooms, including Niall. The look on his face is a mix between being proud, sad, and scared (I know an odd mix right)

“AND IF YOU THINK I AM GOING TO LEAVE HIM, YOU ARE SADLY MISTAKEN! I AM STAYING AND NEVER GOING AWAY! EVEN IF THE FANS HATE ME, BECAUSE THEY CAN LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT! AND SO CAN YOU!” I finish my rant and walk right past Niall and into our room.

I close the door and scream as loud as I can into my pillow. I feel so relieved, like a huge weight has been lifted… but now I’m worried Niall is going to be angry with me, and management is going to yell at him.

A knock comes from the door and I go to answer. Niall and all the boys come rushing in, chanting and screaming as if they won the lottery.

“That was fucking amazing Macy!” Louis shouts with excitement. 

“No one has ever stood up to them like that, you are my new hero!” Liam says pulling me into a bone crushing hug.

“Do you want to tell them off for me next time I have to ‘date’ a whore?” Harry jokes.

I laugh with him “but how else will you get sex?” I joke back and he just laughs harder.

I turn to the quiet Niall. “Are you mad?” I ask hesitantly. A huge smile appears on his face. “How could I be mad at someone as amazing as you? you are unbelievable Macy! I love you” he says before crashing his lips onto mine passionately.  “Gross get a room.” Louis jokes covering his eyes. Niall pulls away and I say “I think I am in our room, so maybe you should get out; unless you want to watch” I joke.  “Let’s get outta here!” Zayn exclaims pushing the other out the door. “You did good Macy; super proud love!” Zayn yells over his shoulder as he leaves with the others.

“Let’s go out” Niall says the moment the door closes. I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his lips softly. “Let’s just order in and spoon all night?” I suggest. Niall looks at me with a confused/shocked look on his face. “What? Don’t you want to cuddle with me?” I pout. He laughs and says “nah babe, it’s just you neva want to stay in, but if it’s want you want then let’s do it” I kiss him again. He is actually so perfect for me. I never thought in a million years I would be dating him. “I love you” I say with my lips right in front of his. “I love you too” he answers back right before he kisses me.

We ordered in Chinese food and watched ‘the lion king’ my favorite movie of all time. Niall isn’t the kind of guy to watch Disney movies but for some reason tonight everything I’ve suggested he’s been up for it, and I’m not complaining.

The movie ended and we went off to bed for a cuddle. “What you did today was truly amazing, you know?” Niall says. All I could do is smile; I took his hand in mine and kissed it. “To me, that shows how much you actually care about me and our relationship” he continues. Niall is without a doubt the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and no one can take him away from me.  “Just don’t ever hurt me okay?” I say burying my face into the crook of his neck. “I promise” he reply’s.

Ever since that day when I yelled at management they have don’t they’re very best to make sure Niall and I are never with each other.  I am still touring with them but I’m never allowed to go to shows anymore, I have to stay on the tour bus or the hotel room, going out in public is the biggest no-no ever, and I had to delete my twitter; it is honestly like I don’t exist.

“Audrey, I fucking miss you! I need my bestfriend here, legit I hate it here” I say to her over the phone. I have been able to catch up with her since you know I’m on like lock down in the hotel room.  

“Just come home Macy! Like you’ve been with them for almost two months!” she says.  I am honestly debating coming home but I can’t leave Niall, he has become my everything.

“Why don’t you come here with me?” I suggest.

I can hear her shriek with excitement. “Oh my god that would be amazing!” she scream through the phone. “Okay, I’ll talk to Niall tonight about it and then I’ll call you to book a flight!” I say just as excited as her.

We say our goodbyes and I crawl into bed…alone just like every other night.

Some nights I don’t even know if Niall comes into the room; I’ll go to bed alone and wake up alone.

I’m starting to question if it’s even worth staying with him anymore.