Justice In The Barrel

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                                                                 Justice in the Barrel

You know that old saying ‘When you’re soon to die, your life shall pass before you?’ What about, ‘One never really knows how good they had it until death comes knocking.’ Or, my own personal favorite, ‘Life’s a bitch. And then you die.’

I have. In fact, I could go as far as saying each and every one of those sayings is completely and mercilessly true.

I couldn’t feel much of the real world anymore. I knew I was lying on a cold floor, and I could vaguely see what was actually happening. Mostly, though, I was swamped with images of my life before this moment.

No, not images. Emotions. The way my mother’s warm arms felt around me, or the sound of my father’s hearty laugh. And especially the way my boyfriend’s bright eyes and gorgeous smile sent my heart flying in circles every time I saw them.

Soon, though, the happy thoughts were washed away by something darker. Rage. I had had so much life to live, and it had been all ripped away without a second thought. I was just a fly on the wall that no one had thought about before slapping it down.

Why me? It was the only thought I could form. I didn’t have an answer.

Then my mind shifted to what had ultimately resulted in this situation. The memories played like a movie in my head. I could see all the errors I had made, everything I could have -- should have -- done differently.

It was like someone was mocking me.

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“Tell me who's gunna save me! Or my father, or my son!” I sang Bon Jovi’s ‘Justice in the Barrel’ loud and clear into the microphone, “When the only justice a man can see,” Well, technically it was my broom handle; but what can I say, cleaning gets boring. I liked to spice it up sometimes!

“Is the barrel of a loaded gun!” I was joined in by the familiar sound of my boyfriend, Trey, singing behind me. We were both terrible. Maybe that’s why we were so comfortable singing around each other. Trey and I were a lot different than each other. He was tall, with tan skin and really dark hair. He also had the clearest, bluest eyes I had ever seen. I was short, with grey eyes and dirty blonde hair. I was always more eccentric and bubbly, where he was cool and collected.

I dropped the broom and skipped to hug him, giggling when he twirled us around in a small circle. “Excited to see me, Taylor?” he said, and kissed my forehead. I just grinned and pulled him to sit on the couch with me, cleaning all but forgotten.

“How was work?” I asked, curling into him. Trey and I worked at the CDC, Center for Disease and Control. I was just a researcher, studying new strains of various viruses. Trey was a bioengineer. He and his team created and studied vaccinations.

Even though I was part of the staff, there were still restrictions to the job. Entire sectors of the lab were closed off to most of us. There were some things the government didn’t want just anybody knowing about.

I knew more about it than I should.

Trey was deep in the organization. His team had to be. They had to know everything about a disease in order to create an effective vaccine. He knew what was behind those locked doors, and he told me everything. So when his cheery smile faded into a frown, I knew something bad had happened.