The last day we spent together was May the third. You might expect me to remember it well, but the truth was that it was a bit hazy. If i had known it was the last day i'd get to be with her then i would have done something special, so we could remember it.
The weather was pretty bad, it was over cast and it looked like it was going to rain but we both decided we would go for a walk. All i can remember is the bluebells on the slope going up the hill the wind rustling the leaves and the deer that run out in front of us. We were so used to being together it wasn't like we had to make anything we did special, it was special because we were there.
I had walked her home and kissed her goodnight and told her that i'd see her tomorrow. Only i didn't see her again.
I knew something was wrong when i got to work and there wasn't a cup of coffee waiting for me on my desk. I thought maybe she was ill, so i texted her, but there was no reply. I pushed it out of my mind and decided i wouldn't go and visit her that night, i was tired and there was probably a very good reason for her not being at work or replying to my texts. I tried to think whether she had said she was going away like she does sometimes. I could'nt remember anything she'd said to me, and surely she would have said that she wouldn't be seeing me tomorrow?
When she wasn't in work the next day and didn't return any of my calls or texts i left work early, at 12, when i was meant to be having my break. I'd told Elena to cover for me and say i'd gone home ill.
I can remember getting annoyed at myself tapping on the steering wheel in the stupidly long traffic queues and then getting to the traffic lights and the lights turning red again and i had to keep myself from getting out of the car and kicking and hitting the stupid thing. It's always at the most efficient times that buses seem to jump out in front of you and cyclists seem to be so tired they cant be bothered to cycle properly and schools decide to give children a half day because its end of term and there's another accident so you have to find another route.
I got to her house half an hour later than i normally would have on any other normal day and sauntered up to the house. Everything looked fine and well from the outside, the flowers were beginning to bloom and the house was still looking fresh from the recent re-rendering of the outside. It looked peaceful, blissful. I noted her car was parked outside so she must be in, she rarely took the bus because she despised the sound of the hissing and the clunking and the crowded seats.
I took her spare keys from my pocket and unlocked the door, this mornings post spread across the floor as the door swung back against the wall. I thought nothing of it until i walked in to the lounge and the t.v. was still on, and i saw the back door was open leading out into the spacious garden. I could have thought that she might be in the garden enjoying the sun but then i saw the washing up water not drained and only half the pans washed and bone dry on the drainer.
I stopped dead just before i got to the doors then and called out
'Jenny? Jen? Are you here?'
There was no answer. I ran back into the lounge, up the stairs into her room into the bathroom the spare room, the garden, the dining room, the hallway and the under stairs cupboard. When i checked the airing cupboard i knew i was getting desperate.
My heart started beating double the pace it normally would if i'd just done that much exercise. My eyes darted round every room and every wall when i had the thought that maybe she was stuck in her car, i just hadn't noticed. I sprinted out into the street and a man walking past said hello, so i pretended i was fine and said hello back. I looked in the car, nothing. Only a mobile, a pack of polos and a wilted bluebell i'd picked for her on Sunday.
I took my mobile out of my pocket and called Isabell, her mum. She picked up with her usual cheery 'Hello! Isabell speaking!' which was enough to make it hard for me to breath. Jenny sounded so much like her mother. My voice was shaking and i tried to put on a strong voice.
'Hi Izzy, It's Stan' I stuttered
She interrupted before i asked her a question
'Stan! How nice to hear from you! How are you?'
'Have you seen Jenny?'
'No, why? Is everything alright?'
'Shes not at home'
'Maybe she's just gone out shopping or-'
'Her cars here, the front door was locked, the t.v's still on, this mornings post is on the floor, she has only done half the washing up from last night and the back door was open'
There was a deathly silence at the other end of the phone
'I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for it'
'No Iz, i don't think there is'
My voice started breaking so i just said
'I'm gonna have to go Iz, Bye' and hung up.
The next person i called was probably the most obvious person i should have called first.
