Sincerely, Castiel

October 19, 1997

Dear Dean,

I went to a therapist today. I haven't been doing so well. We talked about you. We talked about how much I missed you.

I didn't want to talk about you, because talking about you makes me sadder than I already am. I wish you wouldn't have gone. I wish you would've stayed. I know you couldn't help it, though.

What's it like there, Dean? I hope it's sunny there. I hope you are happy. You deserve to be happy.

It hasn't been very sunny here lately. I'm sure it is, but it's like there's a black and white filter covering my eyes. I don't even feel the sun's warmth anymore. It's kind of scary, Dean. I hope you're not cold there.

Do you miss me? Do you ever feel an ache in your heart when my name comes to mind? I wish you would, but I don't want you to hurt. Even if it means you forget about me.

Well, it's getting late, Dean. I better get some sleep. My therapist said sleep is a necessity, and it will help me feel better. I hope it does.

I love you.

Sincerely,
Castiel