Hm.
I wonder,
How will you all recall me?
When my name shows up
In a cover page,
What will come to mind? Mostly,
The mosaic of the masses of
Children I fought alongside
For our right
To sleep at night,
And the awards hanging at our bedside.
And these tired-eyed things,
Now all grown up,
Watch an interview, read an article,
See my face on TV over the rim of their coffee cup,
Will imagine the dark-haired stranger
They knew me as.
Though she forgot homework
And the answers and wrote formulae on the desk (always has),
The poor girl was a labeled Smartest,
And a Smartest Of Us All,
Because she talked rather big when she was called upon,
And could for ages past the call.
And for a few,
Few precious souls,
Whose color schemes complimented mine and had us painting together
Over lunch or at home
Or through late-night-lasting texting sessions, or confessions,
Will see me in sharper focus. And I can't say whether
They will know their value unto the monarch
Who marched and dined among them (as we were comrades at the Round Table).
They will recognize the daydreaming eyes
Of a Queen in her own never ending mind fable.
They'll know they always knew, and yet
They didn't have to suspect
To cherish me, my memory,
And that's what made them rather perfect.
And my old readers..
Who can say?
They'll know the name, after all,
It comes after Monday.
Yes, they spoke with that girl,
Read her earliest works,
Knew the full capacity of her chasm-brain
And perhaps the surface of its quirks.
G..
G..
G..
Gosh!
Will it make you excited?
To say you knew her (me..)?
To say oh, she was a sweetie,
To me, she was a human-
Crazy!
Well, yes, actually
I am a living and breathing and sometimes faulty little animal
A funny little thing
Just like all
All
All
All of you are.
Part of me can't wait for the day
That I become an untouchable star.
But the rest,
There only in slivers,
Wishes you'd not treat me that way already,
Because I still need to grow inside the garden bed,
Surrounded by your arms, our shared bruises, blue and red,
And I can't possibly manage it
From the place I'm put-
Afar.
