My Nonexistent Love Life

Confusion

I sit there stunned, unsure of what to say.

Blake clutches the photo frame in his hand until his knuckles go white, and tears fall down his face. I stare forward, not sure of what to do. I know how it feels to lose someone, but not in that way. I imagine a small, younger, more innocent version of Blake all happy and then sobbing once he finds his brother. I feel my heart break into pieces for Blake, so many words are in my head but I can't get them out.

"Blake-" I sigh. "I don't know what to say to you honestly. I could say I'm sorry for your loss, but that won't do anything will it?" I laugh without humor in my voice. "I hate when people say that kind of shit to me, sorry doesn't do anything in the long run," I look to my side to Blake.

"But I could have prevented it," Blake whispers so quietly I could barely catch it.

"Don't blame yourself," I warn. "I did the same for years," I mutter to myself.

"What do you mean?"" Blake questions.

"It's nothing," I brush it off.

"I think we should get you home," Blake gets up from where he is laying and I get up as well.

I reach to give Blake a hug, but he quickly turns and heads to the door of his room to leave. I feel a pang in my chest at the rejection.

I thought we were getting somewhere.

"O-okay," I stammer, walking being Blake with my head down. Blake doesn't utter another word. We both get inside of his car, and he aggressively slams his door shut and starts the car. Five minutes from Blake's house, the car begins to aggressively shake, and then slow down to a stop.

"Fuck!" Blake slams his hands on the steering wheel, and I jump and sink down in my seat.

"Blake?" I whisper, confused by his actions. I didn't think he'd hear me, but his head whips in my direction.

"What now?"

"N-nothing," I shake my head and look out the window, forcing myself to not get upset over his odd behavior.

"What's wrong?" Blake asks without much concern in his voice.

"I-I'm fine."

"Then stop stuttering," Blake simply states. Something about this ticks me off, he knows my situation. Why would he say that?

"I don't know who you think you are. But you can be a real dick," I feel confidence bubble in my chest. "You need to quit acting bipolar, buddy. It's pretty confusing you know."

"Maybe I like confusing you, Ana," Blake's eyes darken.

"I, uh, well don't," I sink further back into my char but Blake's face comes closer to mine.

"And if I do?" He challenges, and puts each hand on either side of me, leaning close.

"I-I don't know-"

"That's what I thought. You don't know anything, sweetheart," Blake laughs without humor, and his minty breath blows across my face. I look into his eyes, and they look so distant- as if his mind is elsewhere.

"S-stop," I beg, looking at him through my eyelashes. Blake backs away and leans back into his seat and takes his phone out, and dials a number. Blake explains the situation that we are in; I assume he is calling a tow truck company. I decide to get out of the car and look around. I slam the door shut, and ignore Blake's eyes.

We seem to be in the middle of nowhere. Trees surround us and I haven't seen a single car since we've been here.

I lean against the car and close my eyes and take deep breath in and out, the worst possibilities coming to mind.