No Control • hs

thirty

Louis taps on my shoulder and my eyes open slightly.

"Um... Peyton?" He says. I sit up and rub my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Have you seen Harry?" He sits down on the couch across from the couch I was sleeping on.

"No," I say, confusion in my voice. "have you?"

"No, and his keys are gone."

"Where would Harry go at," I glance at the clock,"four in the morning." I sit and ponder the question.

"He wouldn't be at work," Louis says,"or going to get food, or-"

My mind goes to all the places we have been, searching for what is most important to him. "I think I know where he might be."

***

I see the pathway. Louis asks where we are, but he doesn't know the story. I turn into the cornfield and Louis screams "What in the h.ell are you doing Peyton?"

We get to the center and find Harry sitting on top of his car in the middle of the cornfield I took him to a while ago. I climb on top with him, Louis still sitting in the car. We allow silence to fill the air between us before the question slips through my lips, "Harry, why are you here?" We look at the stars, pretending like the each others bodies aren't even there, like we are only voices floating back and forth.

Harry swallows hard."I... I've been thinking."

"We have been spending a lot of time with each other. I can call you my best friend because you are. You are breathtakingly gorgeous. You light up my life in the most unique way possible. You calm my nerves when I get butterflies. You cheer me up when I'm feeling down. There are so many ways to describe you, but the sun will come up before I get to the point of this. A while ago, my girlfriend Alex wrote me a poem after we broke up it said,"

'Waking up, our warm bodies side by side we lay. I thought we had this problem fixed just yesterday. Now it's my turn and this playing pretend isn't so much fun. All the time we tried to fix things you had always won. I'm saying this because I love you, that is the whole point. Don't look for me love because at this time, we are now disjoint.'

"That was what was on the paper Zayn burned, that poem. I never thought I would love any one more than Alex. Ever since you showed up at my door I knew. I knew I found true love again. Now, I have this feeling every time I see you. You make me happier than anyone would even imagine. I love you Peyton Ruth, and I always will." He reaches for my hand and I hold it tight.

"I love you too Harry."

***

I just sit there, thinking of all the things Harry said about me being his true love. The leather on the couch makes me feel even more attached to him, like he was sitting next to me. I wanted to tell him that he is my true love too. I mean, why not? He is just in the other room.

Before I know it, I am walking myself to his door. I knock. He opens. He lets me in. I sit on his bed.

"Harry, I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else in my life...ever."

Harry smiles at me and puts his pajama pants on.

"It's like, when I see you, I have no control."

"I have very little control myself."

"See what I mean?" I say. "Hey, do you happen to know when my apartment is going to be done? I know you've been talking to the construction guys."

"Oh, yeah, they said it should be ready tomorrow."

"REALLY?!"

"Yep!" Harry smiles."Well, actually, it's been done for a week."

My expression immediately falls from my smile and my brow becomes furrowed. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I love having you stay at my place...I don't want you to leave."

"I will still be here Harry! All the time! And when I'm not using the key you gave me to your apartment to come over every day, the dog will take care of you."

Harry rolls his eyes. "The dog. Really?"

I chuckle. It will be hard not seeing Harry every second, I will see him at work and mainly every day when I come and visit, but it will be different. It sounds like we are 1000 miles apart when the reality is, we live less than two yards away from each other.

"So, is it ready now?" I ask.

"It will be in the morning." Harry says."Just one more night."

"Harold... We have been having an endless sleepover for the past month."

"I know, I know! Just, it's not ready ready."