No Control • hs

twenty-six

The crisp morning breeze blows my hair back slightly as I walk down the street, Harry by my side. It has been one month after we escaped from the custodian's closet and we haven't see Niall or Zayn since. I've been staying at Harry's place on the couch for the past few moths. Some cleaning crew finally drained my apartment from the water couple days ago. Everything is saturated most of it is moist and some of it is moldy. They told me I would need all new appliances, only things on countertops and in cabinets were saved. They also added that I need all new furniture and the clothes in the two bottom drawers of my dresser are completely drenched. With my luck, it was laundry day on the day of the flood and almost all of my high-end clothing pieces were sprawled out on my bathroom and/or bedroom floor.

I remember when I first walked in there with Harry and Liam, the little waves crashing against my feet under the threshold of my now flooded apartment. It reminds me of the puddle in front of me, the wind making waves quiver on the thin top layer of water. I have to pay for most of the things I lost in my apartment so I quit my job at the coffee shop with Harry.

I applied to a job at a preschool, pretty close by and got accepted as a teacher's aid. Harry is upset at me about leaving him alone at the shop, but our lunch break is still at the same time, mine's just shorter.

I feel like we've kind have grown apart. He is letting me stay at his place, so he must still care about me. Right?

"Are you exited for your first day?" Harry asks. I really am, it's transitioning into the autumn months and I love the feeling of fall, sweater weather, and everything warm and cozy.

    "Ya." I say with a closed mouth smile. "I'm exited to meet the kids." We stop at the door of the school.

"I think I've got it from here." I say to Harry. "Thanks."

"Have fun." Harry says and kisses me on the cheek. "I love you."

"Love you." I turn away and head towards the school.

I find the office and walk in. "Hello," I stick my hand out in the direction of the lady sitting in the front office chair. "I'm Peyton Ruth, the new teacher's aid for Amy's class."

"Oh, yes, she's in room 22." She replies, taking her reading glasses off.

"Thank you." I grab some papers off the front desk and proceed to her room. I walk in and preschool kids surround me on all sides.
"Hello!" Some of the kids go back and sit down but the remaining ones ask the following questions- "Who are you?", "Why are you here?", "Can I go to the bathroom?"

I weave my way through the children and find Amy. "You must be Miss Ruth!"

"Yes." I nod.

"Everyone! Everyone! Now, now, sit down." Mrs. White gets the kids gathered and they finally quiet down.  "This is my helper Miss Ruth. She will be here every day this year, helping me, and you!" There is not one noise in the room. "Can we go around the room and say our names so Miss Ruth can start learning them?" They go around the room and say their names, they look bored out of their mind.

"Thanks everyone!" I say."I'm looking forward to having lots of fun this year helping you guys!" I see a little kid off in the corner, smiling. He has curly brown hair, just like Harry, and green eyes. It was like how I would imagine Harry when he was that age.

"Okay, let's get back to craft time!" Mrs. White says, and all the kids scramble to the art tables, pick up their crayons, and carry on with their pictures.

***

I sit on the red leather chair of Harry's living room, he gave me a key so that I could get in if he was running late. He walks in about 30 minutes after I get to his apartment. "Hey." I say, getting up and walking over to the island in the kitchen where Harry is headed with a bag of groceries.

"Hi." Harry replies, hanging up his brown jacket in the coat closet.

"How was your day at work?" I ask.

"It was fine." Harry opens up the fridge and slams down a bottle of apple juice onto the counter.

"Whoa, calm down."

"Just save it Peyton." He says, slamming the pantry door closed.

"If you need to talk about something, you can talk to me."

"Can I? I feel like everything I tell you just goes in one ear and out the other" Harry says as he continues to put groceries away.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, I don't know what to say."

"When will you apartment be done?" Harry is now obviously irritated. "I thought you said it would be done a month ago."

"It's almost done. Why? Do you not want me here anymore?"

"I don't mean it that way, it's just." He turns to me. "Are you staying here because your apartment isn't done or do you just like the benefits of staying here?"

"Harry, what are you talking about? I would never-"

"You're a smart girl, Peyton. Free food, no bills, and you always have someone to bug when you get home." The way he said 'bug' made my skin crawl.

"I thought you were okay with me staying here." I got closer to him, raising my voice.

"Well, I thought it would only be for a month or so, it's been about three and I'm tired of pulling the weight for the both of us."

"Ok."

"Ok?" Harry eyes me, waiting for me to elaborate.

"Yes, Ok. I guess you won't have to anymore." Tears jerked at my eyes, I took a shaky deep breath in and out then proceed to Harry's room and shut the door.

I can hear Harry outside the door. "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE THIS IS YOUR HOUSE PEYTON, ITS MINE. IT'S MY ROOM YOU JUST BARGED INTO."

That's when the tears fell, hard. I was packing my bag. Why was he being like this? I was done. Done with having to always look over my shoulder. Done with using all of my money to fix an apartment I didn't even want anymore. Done having to argue. Done with feeling like I was always being taken care of and being helpless.

     I juggled all of my things, and took a deep breath before I opened Harry's bedroom door. I didn't dare to look him in the eye as I passed him on my way to the door. "Peyton what are you doing?" I could hear regret in his voice.

     "Goodbye, Harry."