Clouds in the Art

Chapter 2

Walking..... I am so tired but yet so energized as well. Im really not in the mood, I just got a lecture from my dad right when he came home from work and then mom told him everthing. When that happened I just gave my dad a look telling him she's over exaggerating but he doesn't seem to notice.

Anyways I'm walking..... to Dr.Gorsh's office. Which so happened to be on the 10th floor in a building with no elevators for people who don't need it. Only handicapped people are aloud in the elevator, but I don't know the hell why! I mean ten floors, and no one other than handicaps were aloud to use it?!

I mutter to myself "bullshit". I glance over to my mother who is frantically jittering as she was walking beside me. Though thankfully my mother didn't hear me over the crazy things that must be going in her mind. I can't help but look at her so concerning, her eyes look like the guinea pig's eyes from the movie bed time stories, what was his name again?....Oh right bugsy! Yeah that's exactly the way her eyes look right now and comically enough she is also uncontrollably shaking like bugsy too. Her eyes also seem to look all over the place like she is talking to herself in her mind. Sometimes I wonder if she is actually the crazy one and makes it look like I'm crazy so she doesn't have to suffer through constant medication.

Climbing up more stairs and more stairs and more and more walking! I wanted to stop but I didn't feel like upsetting my mother. So i kept on going. People ask me if I workout or something because my legs look so muscular and I usually answer the same reply every time "Being known as crazy up and down the stairs is my daily workout." Again usually people give the same response to that answer with laughing then seeing I'm not joking and then giving me a blank stare with some sympathy to go along with it.

We're finally standing in front of my psychiatrist's office. I don't but do want to go in. I really don't feel like hearing my mother rant about my "suicide attempt" but then again he has a cozy couch and it would be pointless to just walk down the 2,068 steps I had just walked up. Yes I know how many steps there are. I've been here ten years climbing the building from bottom to top and vise versa so of course I would one day count the steps when bored out of my mind. I've actually counted the steps from boredom so many times I have lost count. See what I did there? No? Okay. Seriously though, it's so crazy how I know this place so well. There aren't the same amount of rooms on every floor yet I know there are exactly 112 rooms, 17 bathrooms, 542 air vents ect. ect..... Dr.Gorsh says how I'm splendidly extraordinary with my extreme attentiveness. He also says that it's a great advantage to have in the future for my career, family, and he also teasingly mentions boys.

I realized I got lost in my thoughts as well as my mother who had actually been lost for a good 30 minutes now. I reluctantly and lazily knock on the door and it swings open almost instantly causing me to knock on Dr.Gorsh's forehead.

I am greeted by a tall 50 year old man with grey and black hair wearing a plaid button up shirt and khakis along with a bright smile that felt warm inside. "Cassie bassi!"

I half heartedly smile at him. Being exhausted and also glaring at him with the rediculous nickname he gave me when I was seven. I had a huge obsession with the sound of an Italian man's low voice singing and when Dr.Gorsh asked on a monthly basis if I was interested in anything new, I sang in a deep voice trying my best to sound Italian. Dr.Gorsh laughed and said I had a lovely voice and did very well. He would ask me to sing for him every week saying he loved the sound. Eventually i lost interest and stopped singing to him, but that didn't stop him from calling me that weird nickname. I just rolled my eyes as I passed by him and quickly walking over to the nice white, fluffy couch and let out a huge sigh and plopped myself down.

My mom was still standing at the doorway. I rolled my eyes again. "Mom!" I actually managed to snap her back into the world and the first thing she does is cry. Though not like crying out of frustration or any of that normal types of cries. She was actually crying hysterically with the back of her wrist to her forehead and her head tilted back like she was part of a soap opera.

Talk about being dramatic. I think to myself and let of a scoff mixed with a laugh to express my thoughts of her being pathetic.

Mr.Gorsh led my mom to the individual black leather chair. She plops herself on the chair still bawling her eyes out and Mr.Gorsh and I just wait and look at each other sharing looks of impatience, mockery, and questionings.

Finally my mom calms down a bit and is now just sniffling she looks at Mr.Gorsh and says one word "suicide" and then looks down at her purse and fiddles with her zipper, still sniffling which probably won't stop for another 30 minutes.

Mr.Gorsh looks at me wide eyed for a bit then starts to look sad and breathes in deep and lets out a loud sigh. "Mrs.White, this is an extremely serious conversation that the only ears hearing it should be me and her. Do you understand? You cannot stay arround today, go wait in the hall, do some work, play a gameon your phone, or even grab a book..." he points to his bookself "of mines and read. I'm sure today I can handle this situation."

Mom looks blankly at him. She hates leaving me alone during my sessions, she has to listen to every word I say, and loves to interrupt me. Sometimes I wish Mr.Gorsh had some sort of back bone and did everything in his power to keep her out of the room. Instead he doesn't bother with it as much and let's it go unless it's really a serious matter. "B-but I need to know how my daughter feels. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't know what was going on?"

"A great one if you just give her some space, she will talk to you when she's ready. Right now this is sonething you can't be here for. If you really want your daughter to get better you can't be around so much for her sessions"

My mother looks at him blankly once more and then glares at me. She gave me shiver down my spine, she gave me a look that I have never seen before. It felt...... cold. She scoffs and gets up, grabs the first book in her reach and storms out the room, almost slamming the door.