Clouds in the Art

Chapter 3

He looks at me giving the signal to explain and I do just that. I tell him how it was all a big misuderstanding and that my mom was overreacting. He listen quietly, hold a pen and a notepad that he never writes in for my sessions. It's like he won't have a hard time remembering our sessions. We just talk, or try to when my mother is arround and he acts like he takes notes around her when he is actually drawing me something. Like really anything. When I was young it was silly kidish stuff but as I got older his drawing became more meaningful and have something to do with what we talked about.

I really like Mr.Gorsh, we really connect. Sometimes I feel he's my uncle instead of my psychiatrist or even my second dad, sadly...... sometimes he feels like a first one. I think I've spent more time with Mr.Gorsh within these last 10 years than I have with my dad my entire life. I love my dad, don't get me wrong-- but I don't feel a connection, all I feel is someone telling me what to do while I live under their roof.

Once I finsh talking, he just nods, and I guess I didn't realize that he was drawing something during the time I was explaining, but he was just about done scribbling whatever is was and then handed it to me when finished.

I smiled and looked down, but my smile turned into a thin line and gave off a look of confusion on my face. It was an elephant and a mouse. The elephant looked like it was running away and the mouse was charging at it. I look back at Mr.Gorsh to find that was stating at me intensely, right into my eyes. He gets up and walks slowly towards be sighing sitting down next to me. I feel myself sink as his heavy body sits on the couch and I shuffle to get a little more comfortable.

"Well." He started, breaking the silence. "I'm talking you off your pills and all of your other medication. I feel like it's finally time to stop giving you them because it's clearly not helping. I knew it never helped but I knew your mother woukd take you to someone else and I care about you to much to risk you going into the hands of the wrong psychiatrist. Although now..... is the time to stand up to your mother.... and father. You're old enough now to be stronger than the weaker. Now this is between me and you but you are the stronger person in this situation. You are a powerful young girl and know what the best is for you. I want you to look at that picture right now."

Me being stunned by what he was talking about, just looked down at the picture and obeyed. I mean, standing up to my parents? Is he crazy? He pointed to the drawing and started talking again. "I want you to be the opposite of the elephant. have you ever wondered why it was so rediculous that elephants, being so big, were afraid of something so tiny and unharmful?" I nodded solemnly and kept staring at the drawing.

I realized it is rediculous to let my parents do what they do to me. I have to stand up to them. "Okay, I will." I finally agreed. He smiles proudly. "But when the right time comes. Now is not a good time, but when the moment comes, I'll seize it." His smile faded just a bit, but he seemed to understand and just nodded. It wasn't because I was afraid that I wouldn't stand up to them now, it was because standing up to them now could make the situation worse because of how my mother is. I just want to go to school and relax a bit.

Mr.Gorsh let me go. We said our goodbyes, we had our long hugs, and my mother already started making her way to the stairs not staying a word. With her walking really fast in anger and me falling way behind, I take out the drawing tucked neatly in my pocket and take a nice long look at it before putting it back in its place and walking a little bit faster so i dint fall too far behind my mother.