School social life has never been a struggle for me. I'm not gorgeous or astonishing beautiful but I'm pretty enough for people to notice. And the fact that I notice that brings on the title of some popularity. I promise you that this will not be a story about the popular girl who finally let's her hidden voice overcome her. You will never catch me without my nails painted or mascara on. I'm the kind of character with faults that you are willing to look past because everything else about me is somewhat promising. People always tell me I'm easy to talk to. I never offered to be a shoulder to cry on or a therapist to those who need it while I was growing up. It seems that everyone just assumed that If they took time out of their lives to talk to me about what's occupying theirs, that I would be willing to listen, and I am. Although, I'm easy to talk to, it's never been easy for me to open up to others like they do to me. I've become accustomed to being the girl who's easy to talk to. It's a plus for me because I'm always the first to know the latest gossip except I get the truth, not the rumors.
"Hurry up Claire, I have to pee reaally bad!" My 6 year old step-brother Sebastian pleaded from outside our bathroom door. Sebastian wasn't exactly planned so when my mom and I moved into a new house three years back after my parents got divorced, we didn't consider the option of me having to share my bathroom with anyone. When my mother remarried I was happy for her. I've always thought my stepfather, Clause was a total tool. He smokes, even around his glorious son, whom he doesn't seem to give a shit about. Clause had Sebastian in his earlier marriage which went downhill once his wife found out he was cheating on her with his 19 year old intern at his job. My mother is one of the kindest people I have ever met and living with her instead of my father after the divorce is definitely a blessing. Sometimes I feel synthetic for my mom because she's one of those people that you can walk all over. When I was younger I always sensed that she was afraid to say no to me, as if I would ask for a divorce and walk out on her as well. I'm not sure what it is my mom sees in Clause, especially after he told her the truth about why him and his ex-wife asked for a divorce. Maybe my mom is the type of woman who likes the feeling that she may be easily disposed of if she makes a mistake. My mother isn't a weak woman, she's just so pure of a soul that she's willing to look past all the bad in people and find the good. Unfortunately, my mother's hope in everyone has led her down a lot in life. Growing up around such a fragile woman has made me stronger and I can't thank my mom enough for that.
"I guess you're just going to have to pee your pants then Seba!" I shouted as foamy toothpaste trickled down my chin. As soon as I made out to the whining noise of Seba from outside the door I knew that he probably wasn't kidding anymore. I stepped outside and trapped the long-legged 6 year old boy with freckles and shaggy dirty blond hair in a bear hug before he squirmed out of my arms and into the bathroom. "Good morning to you too, young man!" I teased as Sebastian slammed the bathroom door behind me. It was a Monday morning and on Monday's Clause would always volunteer to take me to school so that my mom can sleep in for a while before Sebastian would gradually force her to wake up and prepare him for 1st grade.
I hated how Clause always has to be ready before me and waiting in the car for me. The walk from the front door, to the car where I knew Clause was inside staring right through me with those beady eyes of his, was maybe even more awkward than the 20 minute drive to my catholic school itself. My uniform for Catholic school is the typical schoolgirl outfit. It's not the slutty Halloween costume that woman who are in their late 30's think they can pull off but it's not the exactly the uniform that any religious father would pray to see their teen daughter in either. I'm one of the tallest girls in my class at 5'9 so the black pleated skirts have always looked more like miniskirts on me, being above thighs and all. It wouldn't be such a sin to show some skin except for the fact that my school wasn't intelligent enough to provide the girls skirts with shorts underneath. I still recall this one assembly day where the principal/ minister apologized to all the parents for have ordering the wrong skirts for the students over the summer and explaining that it was too late to purchase new one's so we'd have to order new one's online but he wouldn't penalize us for wearing the one's he had purchased because it was his mistake. It may have been good enough of an explanation to make the parents content, but my friends and I all knew that the Minister was just secretly addicted to the lust and excitement he felt when we would kneel down to pray.
I tried my best not to peer through the black glass of Clause's car every morning in frantic search for his eyes. Instead I pretended to be incredibly interested in my shoes during my short, rushed stroll to the car. I climbed into the passenger seat and Clause took his sunglasses off to greet me and give me a sheepish kiss on the cheeck. "Good morning darling. How'd you sleep? I heard Seba walking in and out of your room last night." Clause loves to pretend to be interested in more than just my appearance. "Exactly, I didn't sleep." I replied with a sarcastic smile. Clause grunted and slipped his sunglasses back onto his face. He started the engine and I put on my headphones to imply that I wasn't in any mood for short talk for the rest of the drive.
Clause pulled up at the school drop off and I adjusted my thigh high socks. Clause pretended not to look as I dug my skirt out of my underwear on my way out of the car and I pretended that it was no big deal, although I could feel my cheeks reddening and my pulse speeding up. I wish I could burn this skirt. "Behave kiddo." Clause warned as he leaned over to pull the passenger seat door closed for me. "Likewise." I replied and began my walk up to the school courtyard.
I stood by my locker for a moment trying my best not to replay the awkward seen of my sorry excuse for a step-dad seeing my undies. Thankfully, Monday isn't sexy underwear day. I was wrapping my headphone cord around my phone when the screen lit up. Lucky me, I thought as I opened the text from the tool himself, Clause. I cursed under my breath after reading the message. Mom wouldn't be able to pick me up from school today. Great.
