( 16 August 2012 )
***Harry***
I stood infront of the door . I was so scared , but I should stop this . Louis changed and I'm too tired of this . I can't stand this anymore , It just hurts you know? . I stood there , I was afraid to knock the door . What if he was with Eleanor? What if he was with someone? . I reached out and knocked the door slowly to stop my thoughts . He opened the door slowly. I forgot what to say and was so afraid. I've been waiting to talk to him for three months and now he's right infront of me and I can't speak . I glanced at his messy brown hair and his mysterious eyes . I swear I could see galaxies in his eyes . He can't be real . He was wearing a blue tight jeans and a blue t-shirt . When my eyes met his eyes , When blue eyes meet green eyes , The world stopped for a second . There are voices of cars and people in the street talking , but I can't hear a single sound . How can he do this to me? When I look to his eyes I feel something strange in my soul . My eyes starts to roll to the curls of his irresistable lips and the center of eclipse . His lips were pink and thin. He was so fluffy and he looked like a cute kitten that I wanted to hug him and tell him about the way I feel whenever I see him , but words aren't enough . Words are never enough . I want to hold hands with him and wake up everyday next to him and hearing his sweet voice every morning . I want to show him that I truly, madly and deeply love him .
All I could see was him .. All I can see is him .. I always feel like this when I look in his eyes .. No this can't be a bromance . Bromance line is crossed when you look into each others eyes and feel it in your soul . We kept staring at each others for seconds , Everytime I try to open my mouth to speak I just can't speak , He had this effect on me .. Or I mean , he has this effect on me , Always . He broke the silence and said in a soft voice " Hey Harry "
I smiled when I heard his voice . I love his voice , His voice is so soft and sweet . I said stutterring " H-hi Louis , I j-just wanted to talk to you ''
He turned around to enter his house and told me " Sure we can talk , follow me " . I followed him to the guestroom and sat on the sofa . I stared at the ground . I didn't know how to start the conversation . I mean I was just too nervous you know?
I heard his voice " So what do you wanna talk about? "
I took a deep breath and said " Louis , you know we aren't as close as before. You also ignored me for no reason . Did I do something wrong? "
He seemed to be uncomfortable and said " Oh Harry , I don't mean to do this . I mean I'm too busy this days with Elean-"
I can't stand hearing her name! I really hate her , I said but I didn't mean to say it " Do you love her more than me? And this isn't a good reason to ignore me for months!!!"
Louis looked at the ground with unreadable expression saying " Harry she's my girlfriend . You are my friend you know?"
I shouted " Friends??? Friendssss?? Tell me Are we just friends?? Friends don't love me like you do , Friends don't sleep in the same bed or kiss each other ! " I smiled when I remembered that Louis kissed me three months ago , We were cuddling and then he was staring at my lips for seconds and then he kissed me , It felt like magic . I felt butterflies in my stomach and the kiss was only for seconds but it was sweet . After he kissed me , he looked at me with a guilty look . I told him that I like it but he just kept ignoring me after the kiss, he also met Eleanor . I didn't understand why did he do this , I mean I told him that I like it and I didn't freak out like him ! Maybe he didn't like it or was disgusted ? Maybe he is straight? .. I completed " We aren't just friends . Just admit it . I mean I love you!I do love you and I do care . I can't stand watching you with someone else , It hurts me louis . Even the fans noticed this wasn't just a friendship or a bromance . We fell in love with each other without even noticing ! . Before I met you , I've never believed that there's something called love from the first sight . When I saw you the first time in x-factor ,I just felt you're so special . Nobody will love you the way I do , even Eleanor . I loved you first Louis . I didn't plan to say this to you but I'll just admit everything . You're my first real crush and my first love . I need you by my side" I raised my head to look at him to see his expression , he was shocked, he seemed to be too happy but in a second his expression changed , he was sad? What was wrong with him? I don't understand him , I really don't .
" I love Eleanor " He finally said . These three words cut me deeper than a knife . I hate this . I really hate that one person love the other person and the other person doesn't . It hurts. So, He didn't mean anything and "larry" was just a joke to him . He didn't take it serously and he really loves Eleanor . That's great! I mean yeah that's cool . Tears begun to cover my eyes as I heard these three words. " I'm not gay Harry , unfortunetly " He added with a tough tone . I didn't know what to say . I fell in love with him , I really did . Maybe he is homophobic? If he was homophobic , he wouldn't kiss me , right? . My mind is buzzing right now and I don't know what should I do , should I run and go out of his house before he can see me crying? I don't like to cry infront of anyone . But he's not anyone . He's Louis , the love of my life . Or should I tell him I was joking? Nah he won't believe me .. Or should I tell him I'm busy ? My thoughts were cut by my mobile phone . It was ringing . I glanced and It was Niall . Ohmygod I'm saved .
" I-I-ve t-to go now because my f-friend is waiting for m-me" I said nervously and without looking at him, I ran to the door and got out of his house . I wanted him to stop me or hug me and tell me he loves me . But It didn't happen . It didn't though I really wanted it to happen . I've started to cry so hard . I ignored the mobile and got in my car and drove quickly away from his house like a mad person . I couldn't stop crying , I turned on the music and This made it worse because the song which was playing was for a band called " the fray" , Louis really likes this band alot.
I turned off the music and calmed down . After this I picked uthe phone
"Hey Niall" I said in a broken voice
" Harry? What's wrong with your voice mate? Are you OK?" Niall said , he sounded too worried about me
" I'm okay , Don't worry. I'm just tired" I said .
" Are you at home Harry? " Niall asked
" No but I'm returning back home , I'll arrive after 10 minutes " I said
" Okay Harold , I'm going to visit you okay? I mean I can't leave you like this , you sound too depressed , You must explain everything to me , I'm on my way to you now okay? See you later Hazza " Niall said
" Thanks Niall , see you later " I hung up and closed the phone . I concentrated on the road . Oh I mean I was thinking about Louis all the way to say the truth . I didn't expect him to say this . Maybe I shouldn't have told him that I love him? I mean shit happened when I told him .
Minutes later , I arrived home . I can't call it home since Louis is my home . Oh no he doesn't even like me , I hate myself . I got out of the car and whispered "I hate myself" , when I turned around I saw Niall who was staring at me . I don't know what to tell him . He came toward me and said " Hey Harry? Omg your cheeks are wet .. Have you been crying? " Niall looked really sad , he hugged me and told me It's Okay , then we entered my home and I told him about everything that happened . Niall knew that I loved Louis , he noticed and kept asking me untill I confessed to him 1 year ago . Niall was so surprised when he heard what happened , He didn't believe this actually happened . He used to tell me from a while ago to tell Louis I love him and told me he was sure Louis loves me back . When he heard what happened , He told me that there's something wrong and that Louis told him once that Louis doesn't really like Eleanor . So Louis doesn't like Eleanor? Maybe he likes someone secretly?
I talked with Niall for a while . Actually, I was happy he was here , I mean he was always there for me when I needed him . He always makes me feel better . We talked for a while then It was getting late and Niall had to leave because he was going to meet Zayn . We hugged and said goodbye . Now I'm home alone . I sat thinking and talking to me , myself and I . I kept walking in circles waiting fpr Louis to call , waiting for an explanation , anything! But he neither called nor sent a message . I gave up and slept because I was too tired . Wondering if he was even thinking about me? or having fun with Eleanor?
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Hey! How are you :)? hope y'all are doing fine . Hope you enjoy this chapter so I've just started to write this fanfiction and I'm super excited :) hope you enjoy it ×
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