I May Not Be A Journalist

The Struggles of Being a Foreigner

I have always considered myself a person that respects the customs and traditions of the country I live in, although I am not born and raised in it. Short feedback, I am Romanian but I have been living in Ireland for almost two years now. It's funny how time flies.

I have met along the way a lot of interesting people and almost the same amount of idiots, which in my opinion should be sent to sleep, with a bag on their heads.

I always loved Ireland particularly because of the fact that I felt more at home than in my own country(sad, but true) and I tried to blend in with the people as well as I could, never forgetting my heritage. Since I have a degree in Irish history and literature and since I'm always into listening a good story about the Irish struggles and history along the years, I have come to know to my shame more things about Ireland than Romania.

I never regretted that thing though, because I feel more Irish than Romanian and, in most ways and I have come to embrace that little part of me and all the little things that made me feel straight at home in the first place. I have started to pay more attention to the things around me and I have started to learn a bit of the language as well.

But everything that is beautiful has its downsides as well. In these almost two years that I have lived here I've had the chance to meet a lot of people and visit a lot of places and learn some new things about the Emerald Isle. An aspect in which I feel blessed I had the chance to do.

The best parts about Ireland are: everything except the town I live in. I'm sorry Cork, but you've disappointed me in ways I have never imagined. I love you too but I don't think we belong together forever.

The people in Cork( or at least some of them, not to be disrespectful) have the impression that they are better than the others, a thing I have come to see in several times.

Quick reminder: Cork is NOT the capital of Ireland and if you have the impression that it is, well, my fellow Irishman I'm sorry to disappoint you but Dublin is ten times bigger and ten times more nicer than Cork.

When I walk down the streets of Dublin I walk in complete amazement and with the utmost respect. I would never get bored of that city, just as I would never get bored of Galway or Limerick or Wexford.

Why? Well, I'll tell you why. Because in all those other cities I was treated like a human being and I wasn't discriminated. I know us Romanians made quite of a name of ourselves in all the European countries but that doesn't mean we are all the same. And if you consider gipsies to be Romanian I have to let you know that they originally come from India.

Either way no matter the skin colour or where we come from we all have the right to be treated equally.
I was walking one day down the streets of Cork and wanted to have lunch with my roommate in a different place than the one we were used to go. The biggest mistake we ever made.

Let's call the place Restaurant X. We sat down at a table, ordered something from the menu, but when it came to ask about certain things from it, the waitress gave us the "what the hell do these people want from me" look.

Since I work in the same business as she does I understood that look in an instant but I decided to give her a chance since I know some days can be tougher than the others and as much as you try you can't have a smile pinned to your face all the time. After our order was delivered(in the same attitude), the waitress went to the table next to us, where a couple of Dutch people sat (how I know this, you ask yourself, she asked them where she was from).

Now don't think that I expect to be asked where I am from or stuff like that, I'm no royalty, nor wished to be treated as one, but it kind of makes you angry the fact that you are treated like crap, while at the table sitting next to you she explains the whole menu, gives them pointers on what they should try from it and has a totally different attitude.

You kind of realise that our mood was ruined and that we wanted to finish our meal and leave after that, but somehow I wanted to prolong the agony and had the nerve( by the waitresses's look) to order something else.

I have been working in the restaurant industry for seven years now and I have seen and dealt with all sorts of waiters, bartenders and restaurant managers, and I always had the utmost respect for these people, because they sit on their feet a whole day, several days a week, catering for your the client's needs, so I couldn't help myself to ask why she had that attitude towards me and my friend. The answer came out bluntly and quickly: because you are Romanians and I know your type of people.

I didn't know we have a type to be honest so, I ventured to ask what our type was. The "type" was that we get out of restaurants without paying, we are rude and we treat people bad.

That came out as a shock to me. I explained to her that her attitude will probably get her fired, because I know what it's like to work for 14 even 16 hours every day since I do the same job as her. The only difference is that I don't have a nasty attitude and I don't judge, I added.

She was surprised and started muttering some lame apologies, and promised it won't happen again. It sure didn't because I never went to that restaurant again.

But I'm not the only case in which I was treated like I was a piece of trash. Friends of mine from Romania were treated the same or worse, being asked either to pay the bill in a restaurant before the order came, or being asked to leave clothes or products at the till, because cashiers were scared they might steal.

We don't live in the Wild West and if we came to a foreign country, leaving our families and friends at home we came here to work, because in our country we are either underpaid, underestimated or not paid at all. We didn't come here to enjoy ourselves with a free meal and we definitely didn't give up the privilege of visiting our families every single day, just to steal something.

We work hard for our salaries and we save up every penny to send it back home with the hope that the hundred euros or two hundred euros we send every week would compensate our lack of spending a holiday with the loved ones.

I know I missed a lot during the last year I wasn't home. I missed spending a Christmas holiday, the last one I had the chance to spend with my uncle and grandmother who have passed away, I left home a mother and father who have health problems( I almost thought my mother wouldn't recover from the illness she suffered from) and I cried...oh how I cried when I left Romania, knowing all those things.

Do you reader want to know what my biggest happiness was when I got home to visit them for a week? Let me tell you. I was happy to see my parents crying, tears of happiness for seeing me, after a year of absence, I was happy to see my grandfather with tears of joy in his eyes, when he saw me and when he saw the gifts I had brought him, I cried when I hugged my grandmother, because knowing they are okay and healthy gives me the motivation I need to carry on every single day.

The greatest joy of all is family. Family has the power to heal. In ways you never expect. And I hope that when I have kids, they don't know the struggles of leaving their home and going through the things I have been through.

So next time when you see a foreigner sitting at the table you take care of, or wherever you work, don't judge, don't be disrespectful, treat him the way you would like to be treated. After all in each one of us there is a silent struggle always masked by a smile or a laughter. You never know where life takes you, who knows one day you might be the foreigner.