Bad || muke au

76

- Flashback -

i get up and out of bed with the most authentic smile on my face. i don't know... ever since luke entered my life i seem to feel more content and cheerful. i've been laughing a lot lately, too. god knows how long i haven't been doing that.

remembering that i've showered last night, i quickly brush my teeth and rinse my face before changing into a cleaner pair of boxers.

i look around for my jeans and rummage through my drawer for a new shirt before taking my hoodie out of the cupboard.

facing the full-length mirror i have placed against the chapped wall, i don't like the reflection. everything's too designated and ugly and broken.

my lilac hair is fading in color, my skin's too pale, my eyes are dull, my face is too chubby - hell, i am chubby - and my whole existence is pathetic.

i look away, not wanting to observe anymore flaws and imperfections and ugliness. i zip my hoodie up halfway and sit on my bed to tie the laces of my sneakers.

they're so worn out that if i drag them on the pavement a bit harsher, the sole might just fall off.

"who the fuck gave you the rights to interfere with my life?!" a voice shouts and it shatters my kind of cheerful morning.

a thump on the wall and i know there's another hole planted next to the old one in the kitchen.

"tell me! who gave you the rights?!"

a yelp escapes my mom's mouth and i quietly twist the knob as i open the door, eavesdropping on the painful and deceitful words that beast spits out.

why did my mom marry this guy in the first place? can't she get over my biological father with another decent man and not a woman-beating monster for the least?

"answer me, bitch!" i see him flip a table from in between the railings of the stairs and every yell rings in my ears. "i. said. answer!"

he slaps my mom.

that man, my step father, just slapped my mom. and i can do absolutely nothing to stop him.

her cries grow louder and tears start to brim my eyes, blurring my vision. he continues to yell and scold and hurt my beloved mother. furniture after furniture, he throws and smashes in different directions.

i jump at every smash and wince at every word, crouching into a ball on the stairs as my hands press on my ears, trying to block out his boisterous, obnoxious abuse.

"you!" he shouts and my heart almost beats out of my chest. "what are you doing there, you worthless child!" his glare stares down into my soul and tears run down my face.

"eric, please don't shout at him. he has nothing to do with-"

"shut up!" he shouts and i can't hold my sobs back anymore. "shut up!" he repeats, louder this time. "get the fuck out of here, clifford! you're just a useless piece of shit who finishes my money and time!"

his words seep in through me like pins and needles and the sharpest blades in the world. i gather myself as if i've broken into a million pieces and run back into my room.

"yes! that's right, you little shit. run! go hide in your room and rot in there. no one cares if you die!" i hear his voice booming throughout the house.

i decide to not shut the door. i don't care anymore. he ruins my day; a day i'm supposed to be at school, on the bus, and everywhere with luke. but he ruins it.

"eric, that's enough!" my mom pleads and cries but it all goes silent once i hear him give her another slap.

more shouts and cries fill my ears as i hug my knees tight, sobbing like there's no tomorrow. eric keeps on beating her and i've never hated myself as much as i do now.

i'm a bad son.

i'm nothing but bad.

everything but good.

i can only watch that man hurt my mom again and again but i can't help in any way. i'm useless, worthless, meaningless in every way possible.

i can't continue to live like this.

i want to follow my dad. i want to be in the clouds with him, too. this planet earth feels empty. and this house feels like hell.

the cries start to fade and i can hear eric's car roaring to life. he must've dragged my mother out of the house and i have no idea as to where they're headed.

but right now, i just want to crouch down into a ball and disappear.

you're a bad son, michael clifford.

you're worthless.

you're useless.

just die.

so that just happened. i hope this gave you guys the insight of michael's life? the reason why this story's called Bad?

comment something i wanna know your thoughts about this drama-filled chap