1 Febuary 2018

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Dan,

I hate you.

I really hate you.

I've been waiting for a reply from you for months and all you tell me is "hbd". In text form! What is this? 2015? Are you still saying irl and tbh out loud?

Have you even read any of my other emails? Messages? Even bother checking your voicemails? Or did you just happen to check your email on my birthday? Was it just a fucking coincidence?

Whatever.

Thanks for replying, anyways.

From,
Phil Lester

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