fatherhood // lashton

17

"What's that?" Michael asked as Luke walked in to the living room of Michael and Calum's apartment with a few papers in his hand. He sighed and sat down on the couch, reaching for the cup of coffee on the table.

"Some apartments Ben sent me today. He can't show me any before Friday so he sent me some papers so Ash and I could read about them and see which ones we were interested in before visiting" Luke spoke and took a sip of his coffee, cursing right after as he burned his tongue on the hot beverage.

"I can't believe you and Ashton are moving in together" Calum said and shook his head with a smile on his face.

"I know" Luke mumbled and leaned back on the couch with a content sigh.

"You're so damn ahead of us. I mean, you have a kid, then you got yourself a boyfriend and another kid, and now you're getting an apartment with all those people. Your own little family" Michael spoke and Luke grinned widely as he looked at his best friend.

"I love the sound of that" he hummed, making Calum and Michael chuckle.

"So, when's the wedding?" Calum asked and snatched the papers away from Luke to inspect them himself.

Luke only snorted and playfully rolled his eyes before laying still in the couch, letting his eyes glance between his best friends. Michael noticed the look on Luke's face and furrowed his eyebrows slightly.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, making Calum look up and then turn to look at Luke as well.

Luke bit his lip and furrowed his eyebrows before sitting up and leaning forward, his elbows resting on his thighs. He had a thoughtful look on his face and it looked like he hesitated a bit before speaking.

"Can I ask you something?" Luke asked, making Michael and Calum both nod their heads with slightly confused looks on their faces, "Do you think I'm moving too fast?"

Both Calum and Michael frowned before slowly making their faces drop, knowing exactly what Luke was speaking about. Michael leaned forward with a hurt expression on his face while Calum gave the blonde an assuring smile.

"Luke, it was Dani who left you" Michael said and Luke sighed before nodding his head.

"I know, but Leon's her son too"

"Luke," Calum sighed and shuffled closer to the blonde before placing his hand on his shoulder, "The only thing she did was carry him for 9 months. She didn't even stay to name him"

Even though Luke hated what Dani had done, he still didn't hate the girl. They were high school dating and they suddenly had a child together. Even though none of them were ready, they stuck through the pregnancy together and they grew closer than ever during those 9 months.

Luke fell in love during that time and then he was suddenly left alone with only a phone call from her parents saying she wasn't ready to be a mother. Luke didn't even get to say goodbye and he never got to hear her tell him she loved him again.

It hurt Luke a lot, making the first months in Leon's life miserable. He was barely around because he was so broken. Leon had to grow up the first couple of months with a father that was a horrible and pathetic train wreck.

Luke was ashamed of those times and promised himself to never put his family through that again.

But Luke still had that pain in his heart, the one he felt when he knew she was gone. The pain had gotten better with time, but he still had a hard time to get emotionally close with people in a romantic kind of way.

That was until Ashton came stumbling into his life.

Luke loved Ashton, he truly did, but he was still scared. Sure, he trusted Ashton and he knew the older boy would probably do anything to please him, but Luke was still scared that Ashton would leave as well. That he would leave without a single word and leave him alone and miserable.