Status: On Tour With 1D

Video Diary - Glasgow

What's this?! An update?! On time?! Fuck yes, I am back bitches!!!

So this is another video diary so whenever a chapter is started with Video Diary it will be in Chelsea's POV since she is the one who films them.

I would love for these diaries to be real but unfortunately I didn't get to go to the 1D concert last year which meant I didn't get abducted because Harry hit me on the head with a door. Yeah, life sucks.

I just found a fork behind the computer.......

So over the past couple of months my list of things I fan girl about has been getting bigger and bigger and bigger. When everything is fine in one fandom, this is a huge drama in another and MY FEELS CAN'T HANDLE THIS LIFE MUCH LONGER!!!!

So it's finally decided to act like autumn so now it's cold and wet and miserable and I'm just hanging on till spring. Spring is nice, it's not too cold and it's not too hot and it gets a little bit warmer each day. That's good weather for me. I like that weather. September, I'm holding out for you!

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Chelsea's POV (in case you didn't read the authors note because you skip through all that chatter because you find it boring and this is turning into another authors note so I'm stopping now)

"Well hello Directioners! It's Chelsea again!" I said as I smiled at the

camera. "The Take Me Home tour has started and we are currently in the city of Glasgow in Scotland! Fun Fact – when the Romans came to take over Scotland, they found them all drunk and running around butt naked while painted bright blue so then the Romans built this giant wall to keep the them out!"

"It's true." Kate said as her head popped up over my shoulder. "Look it up if you don't believe us! I'm watching you," She did that whole point-at-eyes-then-point-at-camera move before slowly backing out of the room.

"Well there's the update on Kate, let's go see what everyone else is doing." I turned the video camera around and walked into the kitchen where Louis seemed to be choking over the sink. "What's up with you?"

He whipped his head around, looking at me with wild eyes. "THE JELLY!!! IT'S THE JELLY!!!!" he screamed, lurching towards me only to trip over his feet and fall over. "The jelly...... is..... poisoned," he whispered dramatically before suddenly going limp.

I cautiously nudged him with my foot. "Yep," I concluded. "He is well and truly dead. Onto the next person!"

I moved into the lounge next to find Zayn passed out on the couch. Niall and Harry were giggling to themselves as they painted his finger and toe nails. "Isn't my artwork just beautiful?" Harry whispered, gesturing to the bright pink false nails that he'd just glued on.

"They're just simply breath taking," I answered, earning a wide grin from Niall. Zayn muttered in his sleep and turned over, causing the two boys to giggle even more and continue on with their project.

Next I found Liam trying to explain algebra to Christina. "Liam is as high as fuck!" she said to me. "Teaching maths with letters and shit!"

"It is NOT shit and as a matter of fact, algebra is very important in today's society-"

"Well another day has passed. Haven't used algebra once!" I cut him off. "Let's face it! Algebra was created by dickheads who like to see high school students suffer from pointless methods that aren't even used in real life. Deal with it."

I clicked my fingers in a z formation like the sassy bitch I am and strode from the room, leaving them both looking after me with their jaws touching the ground.

"Damn gurl!" Kate suddenly appeared next to me. "You're a sassy woman that don't need no man!"

"Damn sure I don't!"

"Let's sing the Harry Potter theme song!"

"But there are no words in it,"

"So?" she questioned. "You sing it like this: Do dodo do doo doooooo dooooooo do dodo do do!"

"Yeah, I'm sure that's EXACTLY how it's sung," I said sarcastically.

"Why thank you!" she paused a moment. "That was sarcasm, wasn't it?"

I nodded.

"You sack of wine!" she yelled, using the insult from Troy. "I actually found out what that means! It means you're a drunken bastard!"

Suddenly it all clicked. "OH MY GOD!!!" I said. "No way!"

"Yes way!"

"Now I know what to call Homer Simpson!"

"Guess what!"

"What?"

"When we go back to London in April the boys are gonna take us to see a play in the London Coliseum!!!"

"You're kidding,"

"Nope!"

"OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!OHMYGOD!" I started squealing, jumping around and grinning wildly.

I can't wait until April!