twenty four
I lie in my hospital bed and try to put it all together.
Somewhere, something went wrong. He died and I survived. I went on to live without ever fully living.
But I am a puzzle and I have missing pieces. And it is impossible to finish a one hundred piece puzzle when there are only fifty pieces left.
And I am so, so tired. Gravity is dragging at me harder. My heart is beating, my blood is flowing, but I am not truly alive. And I am so, so tired. I can't figure it out.
I don't need to.
And it is then, right then, when I release the need to know, that it clicks in my mind.
Me.
